InLove

InLove

A Chapter by Pax


Made my world go crazy
things get suddenly messy
unknown feeling makes me happy
please have pity
   Cause my heart is just empty.

Fill it with lively
colors and pretty thingy
burst it with love
going, going
       to its satisfying contentment.


© 2013 Pax


Author's Note

Pax
my first ever submitted poem in this website.

My Review

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Featured Review

I like this poem it definitely has potential, but just in my honest opinion to help you I think it could use a little bit more. I think that if there was more included about the person you (or your character) are in love with and some of the things they do that makes your world go crazy and such. I do enjoy the last stanza so I don't think it needs any adjustment (I do believe you meant so say "things" not "thingy" though). I wish you the best of luck, and good job. =3

Posted 8 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Like the poem like the imagery
Nicely done.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

So positive first poem =).
The thing is, if we allow our happiness to depend on others, there's a chance that happiness will remain elusive. But the best thing that love can do to us is that it make us hope, dream, aspire, be inspired, and all other positive things. Glad to read this.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This poem impressed me so much, without to understand the reason, it`s so unique, simple and deep in the same time! what i feel about is connected with the word "empty", which is so great, because looks like not "empty" but waiting to be filler with love.
(to its satisfying contentment.)
just great,
No♥r~


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

First ever but a good one. It tells about your blooming talent.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pax

7 Years Ago

*smiles* thanks my friend...from this it seems like I've gone a long long way in this of literary ar.. read more
Sami Khalil

7 Years Ago

I was digging deep. I like to see writers beginning journeys. And you are welcome.
A very touching plea, Will.
Obviously, heartfelt.

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

A beautiful poem for love. Love should make our world go into a better place. I like the description and the positive ending. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Artfully composed substance of a love that bids farewell to the reason,
but only the emotion lingers, wow, although short, it is highly impacting.
an idea gone the way of the try, excelllent approach and delivery

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Why you seems so helpless writing these words? All I've got after reading this poem is lots of questions. Don't know why but there's no positive vibe I got. May be it meant to be like this. May be I just don't don't want to get it like the way its coming to me. Any ways your words are exact but so desperate. I would like to these thoughts being expressed calmly, more evenly.

Posted 7 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

I like this poem it definitely has potential, but just in my honest opinion to help you I think it could use a little bit more. I think that if there was more included about the person you (or your character) are in love with and some of the things they do that makes your world go crazy and such. I do enjoy the last stanza so I don't think it needs any adjustment (I do believe you meant so say "things" not "thingy" though). I wish you the best of luck, and good job. =3

Posted 8 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.


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9 Reviews
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Added on April 1, 2012
Last Updated on June 30, 2013


Author

Pax
Pax

CDO - the city of golden friendship, Philippines



About
Dear Visitor Hello there! I am Willyam Pax from the Philippines and now residing here in Saudi Arabia for work. I am not a writer but a sensitive aspiring artist who expresses himself into .. more..

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