a feeling of Being Alive

please listen to the short audio the link is below.

Blending in and pretending to be someone

It's been my life for years

I'm just a killing machine for hire

Running and hiding seems to be the right thing to do

It was a failed tasked yet I felt relieved

That will be my last task

To start a new life will be hard

A lot of people now are looking for me

Especially my boss that I must avoid at all cost

Why must I leave it unfinished?

Why must I feel this unknown feeling towards my target?

Why does it have to be you?

It's the first time I felt alive, that I'm not just a machine anymore

Like everything and everyone matters

To you I'm just a human being looking for someone to love and care for

My enemies have come

I'll do my best to stay alive for one day I will see you again

Hoping that you'll be well and happy in your own life

They are coming at the rear view of my car mirror

Two cars have approached

One in the left and other in the right side

Seems like I can't escape these two

Now we are in the middle of the road

We were too busy challenging each other

That all of us didn't see the truck fast approaching

It's too late to avoid

One of us was stuck big time by the truck

The other crushed to the road side railing

And me I manage to avoid the big truck

But I went straight off the cliff

Memories flashes fast

I just wish for the last time I could be able to see you

Even just a glance of your face to remember

Why am I so far for just a glimpse of you?

I'm falling to my doom

A payment for all the bad deeds I've done

Goodbye my special someone

_________________________________________

Why did you run away from me?

Why did you do that?

I want to know why?

My past had bound us together

Each time I had spend with you was a lifetime of joy to me

Now that I have found you, yet you're like this

Even so I will never let you go this time

Long months had passed and still you're asleep

Please wake up

I always pray to God that someday you will wake up

And spend eternity with me

I've taken care of the people that have hurt you

You don't have to worry for your safety now

I will protect you

I'm rich and powerful now

I don't have to work many hours just to pay my fees

Even you, we could live anyway we wanted

We can start a new chapter in our lives, leaving the past behind us

You don't have to do the dirty deeds of other people who only want power

If it wasn't for you I will never take this new found power

My tears had no use to you when you're like this

Your hand is so warm yet cold for being so unresponsive

I miss you

Please come back to me

Author's Note

To celebrate my birthday today I'm gonna post this, i was really happy when someone featured it and read a few lines of my poem.
please listen to this:
A short audio
its really amazing, he narrate it with such emotion the way i wrote it.
and by this i was able to create a little book of peotry
called Lost Memory

Reviews

[Katherine Enma Pineappl..]

Didn't know about the birthday so I'll first start by saying happy VERY LATE birthday kuya. I'm sorry but I was kind of lost at first maybe cause of this headache but later on your writing caught me. This short lovely tale is amazing as I love anything like this, the feeling of being alive :)

Love the write

[Pax]

Yup, i posted it in celebration for my bday, because the poem meant something to me. thanks my friend, i hope you enjoyed the short audio as well..

[Katherine Enma Pineapple]

I did, clicked the link almost immediately after the author's note. The guy really did a nice way of narrating it :) BTW that's a nice unique way of celebrating your birthday :)

[Pax]

thanks..im glad to know that you've like the audio also...

[Sami Khalil]

This Mr. Pax is a good example for reading poetry out loud to convey feelings and emotions acting out the moments . A powerful write indeed. I just saw this one...:)

[Pax]

even though this is fiction my friend... i still felt this write is close to home(my soul) for i felt the character when i wrote this... i felt every beating thrill on his journey... even though this write has lots of short comings(on grammar & etc).. i still feel i found my ways in expressing my art... thank you very much my friend... I'm so glad you have read and listen to the audio... i love the audio for it was just right of emotion when he read it... i was happy in that time for i know i can't read it the way he do...

[Sami Khalil]

That is an example how things turn out great naturally...You are welcome...:)

[Shep]

So this is the real you behind the words, always searching for that one lost love. I liked it and I gather this going to be a book of poetry. Fantastic write. I like the story behind what’s going on and could easily see a novel being develop write from this poem.

[Pax]

thank you, im really glad you like it. hope you enjoyed the audio as well. thanks again.

[Corset]

The poem and the audio are amazing, a brilliant piece of literature! I have felt just like this sometimes, as if a whole emotional mess could have been avoided had I just stayed off the road. I think the birthday reference might be metaphorical, as this love for your "mark" has given you a new birth. so very well done, poet assassin!

[Pax]

:D , im really happy with your review. it was written long before my b-day, but i didnt post it here and i was really hesitant to post it, maybe because it was critique again very unfriendly. but then this poem is really special to me. so i did the grammar correction but i did not follow suggest the flow should change coz i think its good as it is..
thank you so much.

[Pax]

This my dear friend and fellow artist, and poet is such a honor and ode to read for the one and only you are writing this for, wow. Such honesty, and truth, lovely words, I can't get enough from your sharp vision how things in life can go, and be.
I didn't know it was your b-day dear one, so sorry, see you're 5 days later having B-day than me :) pretty funny! ha! never knew that....This write is a gift, an ode to this person, i feel all you say. Such a bliss.

"Why does it have to be you?
It's the first time I felt alive, that I'm not just a machine anymore"

This one must have changed your life, and even around or not, you are stronger than you think. And the invisible her, will be around, just listen soulmate.

E.L.

[Pax]

thank you so much my dear friend. its always a pleasure to hear from you.
im glad you liked this. and hope you have listen to the short audio..
its really good.
when writing this i felt his pain..its amazing how your imagination guides
you and let you feel the person you wrote.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

wonderful and I enjoyed the audio immensely. I have one I would like for you to listen to if you can. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IINyr2lPt3A

[Pax]

thank you, ive listen to it. its simply magnificent and your voice is really amazing to listen to.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

You tell an interesting tale here and I can see why you are turning it into a more detailed story.
I listened to the audio - he did do a good job and how thrilled you must be! This interested me and I have moved on to read your story.

[Pax]

yup, it thrilled and i was really proud of myself besides the sets back(grammar blindness) and thank u

[BreeBree1983]

Amazing.. Beautiful. I loved it!

[Pax]

thanks,i really want to recommend the short audio, http://deviantliterature.tumblr.com/post/17950240130/a-feeling-of-being-alive-by-willyampax-read
its really amazing, someone narrate it with such emotion the way i wrote it.

[Layla J Omorose]

Great poem, there's nothing else I can say about it. Well written and its content is deep and powerful. Good job.

[Pax]

thanks,i really want to recommend the short audio, http://deviantliterature.tumblr.com/post/17950240130/a-feeling-of-being-alive-by-willyampax-read
its really amazing, someone narrate it with such emotion the way i wrote it.

[Kuhr Gred]

wow... amazing write.. btw.. happy birthday my friend.. be happy always has you written your stories and thoughts in this site.. hahah.. thanks for sharing
- Kuhr Gred

[Pax]

thanks,i really want to recommend the short audio,

http://deviantliterature.tumblr.com/post/17950240130/a-feeling-of-being-alive-by-willyampax-read

its really amazing, someone narrate it with such emotion the way i wrote it.