Part 01

Part 01

A Chapter by wolframdioxide

The sky over Nashville was still pitch-black, even at five in the morning, with forty-five minutes to sunup and a clear sky. They made their way to a parking garage downtown, a few blocks from the scaffold-ridden visage of the Paramount, with forged security passes and cheap drone-stunners, clambering over bulkheads and sneaking up stairs. The equipment, covered in a blue tarp, was waved through by a bribed security guard - the last visible relic of humanity on the complex, which was otherwise desolate and empty. They unpacked the parts on the concrete, a floor below the roof, and gleefully hooked them onto the walls of the parking garage. They were ready.
They were criminals, around twenty in number, and even the few who hadn’t broken any laws beforehand would do so that day. The greener members exited the scene the same way they came, leaving five motley veterans at the van.
The leader, a genial-looking man in a dark suit, opened the glove compartment, retrieving a bottle of bourbon and five plastic cups. The veterans poured their drinks, and the leader made a toast:
“To technology!”


© 2015 wolframdioxide


Author's Note

wolframdioxide
Yes, it's intentionally mysterious.

My Review

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Featured Review

Hey, thanks for the review. I'll review the chapters of this up until now!

Is "Downtown" a borough/district of the city? Otherwise, it doesn't need to be capitalized.

The wording in the sentence, "...the last visible relic of humanity on the complex which was desolate and empty" is a little awkward. Maybe change it to, "which was otherwise desolate and empty"?

Otherwise, there weren't any notable mechanical/technical issues with your writing here. Since the story is intentionally mysterious, I'll refrain from asking any questions about the actual content for now.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wolframdioxide

6 Years Ago

Edited. Thanks!



Reviews

Hey, thanks for the review. I'll review the chapters of this up until now!

Is "Downtown" a borough/district of the city? Otherwise, it doesn't need to be capitalized.

The wording in the sentence, "...the last visible relic of humanity on the complex which was desolate and empty" is a little awkward. Maybe change it to, "which was otherwise desolate and empty"?

Otherwise, there weren't any notable mechanical/technical issues with your writing here. Since the story is intentionally mysterious, I'll refrain from asking any questions about the actual content for now.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wolframdioxide

6 Years Ago

Edited. Thanks!

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Added on March 22, 2015
Last Updated on March 24, 2015


Author

wolframdioxide
wolframdioxide

Houston, TX



About
Amateur author and animator. Mainly focussed on science fiction and urban fantasy. more..

Writing
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A Chapter by wolframdioxide