Age

I am a child soul

in an old vessel

I sailed the serrate seas of time

I pleaded,

I played with time

but time played unfair a game

with me.

I sip slowly my memory

But none remains in the mind

Or am I remains

ruins,

a memory

in someone’s mind?

Reviews

[...]

. hallelujah!!! ... that someone possesses the ultimate mind ... i wish i could find the owner of my mind ... but i'd have to probably ask ... "are you alright?" ... and that someone would respond with "not quite" ... oh, you are a gift to alliteration and word play and existential thought ... beautiful title ... beautifully justified ... enriching ...

[Emily B]

serah says I'm 5, I think maybe 500, but it's fun to argue :)

[Helena]

I loved the beginning of this poem "I am a child soul in an old vessel". I guess we can all relate to that in a way, those over a certain age that is! I am a great believer in "our inner child" and that we carry that little child with us to the end of our days. Enjoyed the write!

[bluessadmood]

Ohh ,old age,i never could say anything to that,its always sad
still as you say,strangely our soul remains too young as the vessel grows
its a wonder,should not they walk hand in hand,or they were made separate,always wondered
if thats the case then the soul is not special to that very vessel,i wonder if it leaves when its gone
she will reside somewhere else,i always thought,she would never go old or ever die
dont they say as he passed his soul gone up,but up where
you tell me here,you played with time,he never plays fair
you will look for memories close ,but i would look for them,far
in others minds,this what counts to me.
lovely write..

[Bubo]

Reminds me deeply of my Daddy who died just over two years ago from dementia, the most painful thing, seeing a strong, intelligent man reduced to a shell of bones.......you capture that here.Very powerfully.

I'd be afraid for (and of) the person that conjured me up in their mind.

[TAO]

wow... I don't know if I should be hopeful in my expectation of making it to my golden years, or if I should be worried to make it... :) Needless to say, this is a very stark reminder of what waits for us. Very nice work.

[Perception Shapes Poetr..]

interesting!
a child soul
its only body that ages
which memories will someone remember
at which stage
are we frozen in another's mind
thought provoking!