A Winter Night

A Winter Night

A Story by Renay

Previous Version
This is a previous version of A Winter Night.

Sandra walked along the grassy bank of the pond towards her favorite maple tree, just a few feet from the pond and just out of sight from her house, and her family.  The yellow moons light the only light she had to guide her on this cold damp night.  As she walked she navigated amongst the hole that the neighborhood children had dug on their search for the pirates buried tresure, her face tightening into a mischievous smile.  For it was because of her and her need to be rid of her annoying little brother that now all of the children believed this. 


As she dodged the holes the moon peeked out from the clouds as if were playing a game of Peek-A-Boo with a small child, and her thoughts started rambling as they always do when she reaches her favorite spot underneath the maple tree that at this time of year stood tall and proud, stretching its cold, leafless limbs toward the night sky.


Finally all alone and out of sight Sandra stops underneath the tree and looks across the glassy black top of the water and into the woods behind it.  As she stands there thinking, a slight winter breeze rustles the dead leaves that are still on the ground, and she feels her long blonde hair stirring so softly, as if the wind were playing with it running invisible fingers through her soft silky blonde hair. Her thoughts are about how she yelled at her mother this afternoon, over what exactly she doesn't remember, of how good breakfast smelled with the homemade biscuits baking in the oven and bacon frying in the iron skillet, of how warm the towels felt when she took them out of the dryer, and how her heart fluttered oh so softly as she held her phone tight to her ear so that she wouldn't miss not one syllable of her boyfriend's sweet reassuring words of love.  She stood there letting her thoughts also wander to the weather and how much rain they had recived this winter and how she missed the warm southern summer nights when the crickets chirped and the frongs croaked out by the pond. Yes, standing there she thinks of everything and yet at the same time of nothing at all.


AS her gaze across the backside of the pond she jumps when all of a sudden a pair of golden eyes that glow like the sun itself were divided in half. It's such a shock to her that a soft cry of alarm excapes her lips as she jumps ever so slightly backward.  She would have lost her step and fell backwards if not for a small invisible touch holding her keeping her from falling.


The eyes that are staring right at her never blink, never close as she notices that they appear to be about midway up the tall pine trees.  About a foot or so over the bushes that grow close to the ground.  Yet where the eyes are there are no branches for something, anything to sit on.  It is as if they are actually floating in mid air. 


"No way can this be happening.  No way at all."  She whispers as the eyes float closer to the pond.  She knows that she should be scared, that she should turn and run.  Run back up the bank and into her house locking the door behind her.


Yet she doesn't, for she isn't scared at all.  In fact an errie calm comes over her.  Reassuring her there isn't any danger.  Such a warm comforting feeling is this that she isn't aware now that the eyes are directly over the middle of the pond.  That now instead of just eyes there is aglow that takes the shape of a body, a golden boey with two arms, two legs and a very human male like appearance. She stands there feeling warm, comforted staring straight in those glowing, golden eyes.


"Come to me."  This creature whispers as his arms reach out to her, drawing her to him so that she too is now directly over  the middle of the ponds black glassy surface.  Just a few feet off of it. 


"You are so gorgeous."  She says as she now notices just how human he his.  His warm golden glowing eyes framed by golden hair that glows around his perfectly chiseled freatures.  His warm muscular arms holding her close to his golden skin.  The heat from his body engulfing her, radiating through out her as she leans her head back, paring her lips, eagerly awaiting his mouth to take hers in a deep longing kiss.  All the while, his eyes, those intoxicating golden eyes never leave hers as they search deep within her soul.  Search as if what they will find there is a matter of life or death, for whom she isn't sure.


That is how she feels as she hovers with this creature that has come from no where and yet at the same time feels very familiar to her.  She wants to tell him to take her back with him, back from wherever it si he came from, but no words will come. 


"I hope he can read my mind."  She thinks as he smiles lovingly at her and gently, oh so gently brings his lips to hers.  Just as his lips brush against hers she feels that she could stay in this suspended state forever.  This thought doesn't bother her one bit.


Then she hears it.  Faintly and far away at first, then closer and louder. 


"Sandra!  Sandra come back!"  And she feels a hand on her shoulder pulling her around and she is no longer in the arms of that perfect creature with the warm glowing golden eyes.  She is back on the bank, in the cold dampness of the winter's night with the moon now hidden completely behind the clouds.  In front of her is her annoying little brother sent to look for her becasue she had been gone for so long.


"Come on!  It's time to get back in the house."  He tells her, but before she can leave she turns back towards the pond and the golden creature is gone. 


No longer can she see those golden eye, leaving her to wonder "Was it real?"

© 2011 Renay

Author's Note

I welcome all feedback. If you like it please let me know why. If you don't like it please let me know why. Afterall it is only through feedback that my writing can improve. Thanks.



This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago

Share This
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


1 Review
Added on May 3, 2011
Last Updated on May 3, 2011



Summerville, SC

Hi! I'm happily married and have a wonderful teenage daughter who also writes. We go to several writing support groups. The reason I joined this site is to seek help with my writing. I write ficti.. more..

Transitions Transitions

A Story by Renay

The Life of Zin The Life of Zin

A Story by Renay