Sonnet II

One of my sonnets.

I feel the pain of the new rising sun
I take hold of the new founding embrace
The mockery and insults, are they one?
Not one, but many have shed on my face
A disgusting ritual of taking
Leaves us but one, a hole of emptiness
Taking from me, taking and then breaking
Though there is no light that shines away bliss
We feed on insults, on suffering love
We feed on our brothers and our sisters
We feed on the nothings from god above
But we purge on the scars and the blisters
The fire that burns within surely burns off
As we boil away in our world's steamed broth.

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems please.

Reviews

[dan]

Wow, I like the piece a lot, it's got a good pace and flow, and the rhyme scheme is tightly adhered to. This contains a couple of what I call, "impact lines," lines (or words) that make the reader say "Whoa" after reading it/them. My favorite? "We feed on the nothings from god above, but we purge on the scars and the blisters." Impact...POW. Very nice write! take care...dan

[Avinash]

Indulgence to pain seem to be passtime for many but it adds value to no one.

[Fran Marie]

A poignant piece of poetry..well expressed in both form and content..nice work..

[~]

A painful write. Hopefully the new-found embrace will guide you to a place of love and care.

[prowayne]

Feed on insults and purge on the scars and the blisters. Did you intend to mean that we consumed the insults and purging it as scars or, though we consume insults still we purge on the scars of others with scorn. I couldn't decipher it right. Maybe you could clarify.

[Coyote Poetry]

The grammar is perfect. Words strong and powerful.
"But we purge on the scars and the blisters
The fire that burns within surely burns off
As we boil away in our world's steamed broth."
Your poetry needs to be read by more people. The poem told the truth. Hard and direct. Old world is blind and cold. Can't see the real world. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[sinNsincerity]

Hah, this Is great.
This sounds like all of us if we didn't put ourselves on check...

[Jamestown]

Unfortunately true! Well written piece of work, so so sad but true:(
I pray oh do I ever, for things to change! Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[Helena]

Thank you for submitting your Sonnet for the Challenge. Good luck!

Helena