Special For The Day!

A write of humor for all you "red meat" lovers.......lol

Author's Note

Post note:
This poem was written when my now deceased husband was on a totally "meat-free" diet as part of an alternative cancer treatment program, and I followed it with him. I became so HUNGRY for just a morsel of red meat that I wrote this - in humor, but also out of sheer desperation............I know the diet was good for the both of us, but, but, but, but the memory of those big juicy steaks just would not go away.......lol

SPECIAL OF THE DAY!

I shuffled into the corner diner in my part of town;
Hung up my hat and coat, then sat myself down.
A cute waitress said to me, “What do ya want Honey?"
I said, "Well, today, I just want a big plate of misery."

My gal had said goodbye and I was sad to see her go-
Left me feeling really bad with my spirit sinking low,
Then I heard the jukebox start another love tune to play,
And that reminded me of my sweetie that left me today.

Lots of guys and gals were seated ‘round the tiny place,
And they seemed to want to listen to my tale of disgrace.
They were concerned so they said, "What’s wrong Jake?"
What made that gal of yours decide to give ya the shake?"

I hung my head down low and couldn't help but cry—
Didn't wanna make a fool of myself by telling them why,
But truth be told, my gal had gone and left me in a flash,
Cause, I told her I was gonna cook corned beef and hash.

As it turned out, she was a real vegetarian from the git go,
No cow was gonna touch her lips that she was gonna know,
And since I kinda had a liking for beef, and pork and such,
I said to her, "Now Sweetie, it ain't gonna hurt ya that much."

She heard those words, and got a mighty funny kind of look
Cause to her this meat entre was not found in her cookbook.
She said I'd have to make a choice before she would stay—
Never eat meat like chicken, pork, or a juicy beef filet.

Well, dumb ole' me, was so used to eating such good things,
That I told her, if I gave up such good stuff like wing dings,
Dipped in that smokin ole' hot sauce, I'd start feeling bad,
So she stood right there, gave me a look like I'd never had!

Out the door she went and I ain't seen nothin' of her since.
So, that's my story of misery; you've heard the whole event.
It was having her stay, and eat food like tofu and vegan stuff.
Believe you me; it wouldn't take long for me to get enough.

So here I am now, came to order another plate of misery
To fill my tummy from the wants of food that taste yummy.
“Purdy waitress, would you bring me a great big ole steak,
Smothered in mushrooms and with a real potato, not a fake?”

My little sweetie, she'll just to have to make a go on her own,
Eating those veggie burgers, tofu, and whatever all alone,
Cause I just ain't the kinda guy to give up my crab cakes,
Fried chicken, pork bar-be-que, or big ole’ juicy steaks!

Sheila Bowyer Kline
Loving a big steak!

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

Hahaha! Oh, Sheila - this is hilarious! I used to be on a Vegetarian website, and so many people there would say things like "I would NEVER marry a meat eater!" How crazy - and they claim to be so "open-minded"! LOL! Life is too short not to indulge in whatever pleases you! Hope you enjoyed that steak - as I did my broccoli! :)

[Sheila Kline]

So glad you can at least relate to this predicament for the fellow and the beliefs of the gal! Keep enjoying that broccoli my friend!!

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Sheila,

I truly enjoyed this witty and humorous little write. Funny thing about vegetarians (no offense intended towards vegans), just because a stalk of celery cannot moo or run away does not make plants life any less living things that men-as-Man do consume as food. Every thing within our known Universe of Existence dictates that Violence, not loving kindness, is the driving factor of our common living reality and fate, for all things consume other living things in order to survive, be it worms, birds, carnivores, or herbivores, and when we died and our bodies return to the soil, even plants partake of that which used to be us as an ongoing cycle that is The Cycle of Life & Death. Very enjoyable read!

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i love it...she left me because i offered her meat to eat because she was so sweet.

but since she's gone, i'm movin' on, and putting a big ole steak on
me plate, looking for a new date.

[Sheila Kline]

You have me laughing Jacob!! Oh dang, now I am really DROOLING for a steak! That guy must have found a new date by now.......LOL

[Tom]

They say the way to a man's heart is through his belly, that girl in your poem mustn't have realized that Shelia!

A fun poem that has left me feeling hungry for more !!

[Sheila Kline]

Thanks Tom!! I hope you were off to enjoy some good ole' "man fillin' vittles"!!

[Lydia Shutter]

What a delightful write this is. It's tough to give up the foods you love when a doctor dictates a diet. Even things you were only so-so about before suddenly become the ones you desire when you know they are verboten! The rhythm and rhyming in this one is superb, Sheila. My hubby does not eat red meat and over the years, I have sort of moved away from it too. Our son, however, thinks "Beef is dinner"! To each his or her own....if the doctor allows! Great humor in this one. Lydi**

[Sheila Kline]

You are so right Lydi!! I eat very little red meat even after craving it so very much when I had agreed not to eat it - the woes of it seem to be so "woeful"! I thought the best way to handle it was with a few "shakes of humor". I am glad you enjoyed it - now off to find some "non-tofu" stuff......lol

[Vidya Bacchus]

This is so funny and well written, it is hard to give up the things we love even if they are not good for us lol.You have enchanted me yet again dear lady and made me so hungry haha

[Sheila Kline]

Thank you! I hope you were able to find something yummy to eat......lol

[Vidya Bacchus]

I did!!!! you are welcome:)

[Marie]

I would give up meat either, Sheila. I do have a sister who in a vegetarian, but I don't know why. Everyone else in my family eats meat, and she was certainly brought up on it.

[Sheila Kline]

It sure was hard Marie.......my mouth would water at the thought of it!! It really did help Barry with his fight with cancer but it took a life long commitment and he just wasn't able to stay with such a strict regiment when he loved sweets so very much!