Old Dogs and Children and Watermelon Wine

Old Dogs and Children and Watermelon Wine

A Poem by Alias
"

For Pauline.

"
You played me your favourite song,
You said it spoke what's in your heart.
You held my hand and sang along,
And bade me listen to the part
About the simple things you loved
The only things worth your time
Old dogs, and children
And watermelon wine.

I remembered how you'd loved me
Ever since I was a child
How our games were ever carefree
And your temper ever mild. 
And the simple things you loved
The only things worth our time.
Old dogs, and children,
And watermelon wine.

As we sang I saw your tears,
And the grieving in your heart
As we spoke of loss and fears
You bade me listen to the part
About the simple things you loved
The only things worth your time
Old dogs, and children
And watermelon wine.

I have loved you all my life,
But I never really knew you
I had no idea of all the strife,
That you have lived through.
The simple things kept in your heart,
Now they'll always be in mine.
Old dogs, and children,
And watermelon wine.

© 2015 Alias


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Featured Review

One of your reviewers mentioned this seemed to falter a little in musicality.

I disagree, it has a flow and rhythm that I think makes these lines as much song lyrics as a poem.

The repetition at the end of each verse works perfectly and 'old dogs, and children and watermelon wine,' go quite beautifully together.

Much enjoyed this.

Beccy.

Posted 2 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Great title!! great story. Somewhat sad but I enjoyed reading this very much

Posted 2 Years Ago


One of your reviewers mentioned this seemed to falter a little in musicality.

I disagree, it has a flow and rhythm that I think makes these lines as much song lyrics as a poem.

The repetition at the end of each verse works perfectly and 'old dogs, and children and watermelon wine,' go quite beautifully together.

Much enjoyed this.

Beccy.

Posted 2 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Wow......this is wonderful. I love the narrative and the refrain is killer! If I may be so bold as to give you a small critique, the only place where this falls flat is in musicality. Certain lines don't quite dance to the music of your song, and that undermines the refrain a bit. It simply needs some tweaking in musicality and it would be tuned to perfection!! Well done!!

Posted 2 Years Ago


Haha I love long titles, and this one is exceptional. Every line leads to the next, so nicely done :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


Beautiful, you write with so much feeling, and you pace yourself very well. I never heard of watermelon wine, thank you for that. :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


good job on making the rhymes flow well, it's annoying when people rhyme just cause they can, without taking the time to make sure it makes sense.

Posted 4 Years Ago


This is one of the best and touching poems I ever read. Thank you for sharing this!

Posted 4 Years Ago


my oh my! those repetitive two lines are sumptuous. the whole poem is beautiful. and touching.
just lovely.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A very touching poem... Bravo!!!

Posted 4 Years Ago


A very elegant poem. It expresses very sweet feelings just like old dogs & watermelon wine. Flows very nicely & conveys a story of sharing between 2 people.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1254 Views
32 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on December 23, 2015
Last Updated on December 23, 2015
Tags: family, grief, music, song, children, dogs, simple things, love

Author

Alias
Alias

Brighton, United Kingdom



About
Poems that come out of my brain. I love to learn from others, so please review and let me know if you want me to read anything of yours, I have a million read requests so if there is a specific p.. more..

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