The First Time

The First Time

A Poem by Alias

You were the first to share my bed
and not my bush or car
the first to snooze beside my head
and hold me in your arms.
The first to sit and drink
and talk from six til' two.
I allowed myself to think
"I feel comfortable with you"
The first to yawn at morning light
and refuse to leave my side,
the frosty sun too strong and bright
for your hungover eyes.
The first I felt it might be true
and not the same old trick.
Perhaps it might be me and you
not a ploy pulled by your prick.
Yet in all this time you haven't called, 
the opportunity's been missed.
That makes you tenth, not first at all.
I'll add you to the list.

© 2017 Alias


Author's Note

Alias
This is only a second draft so open for tweaks let me know if you see any substitutions that might fit better. Also always open to discuss meaning and interpretations.

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Featured Review

i pretty much like it as is. it has your raw strength in it (as you usually do). it's got a cynical sarcasm to it while still maintaining honesty. i like the part about the "prick" because it has a double meaning to me - it can be taken literally or figuratively lol. was surprised by the ending because everything started out in bliss with an unexpected twist at the end. his loss as they say. all in all really good.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Very great!!! The presentation was great!!! It tells a great story!!!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Maybe just the last stanza.

Yet in all this time you haven't called,
I've sadly realised
Your prick like you
Just wouldn't do
I'll cross you of my list.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Alias

2 Years Ago

i'll take a look at that, thanks for feedback always helpful!
Great poem. I like the structure, not to lovey-dovey nor too dark/ambiguous. Has a nice ring to it.

Posted 3 Years Ago


I really liked this. First it takes us with the poet to understand the things that happened before the person making to the list of the poet. Everything was looking good and happy and of course no way near to the previous ones but then with the ending scene it speaks to us that the person turned out the same like the previous ones...

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked the story told in the poetry leading to strong ending. Life is experiences and opportunities to learn. First time or last. Just become a new memory. Thank you Alias for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 3 Years Ago


yes, the literal and figurative meanings of "prick"--

just when we think someone is different...that person ends up hurting us just like the others did.

being used on either side...it sucks!

Posted 3 Years Ago


It's terrible when men use women for sex and then abandon them.

Posted 3 Years Ago


i pretty much like it as is. it has your raw strength in it (as you usually do). it's got a cynical sarcasm to it while still maintaining honesty. i like the part about the "prick" because it has a double meaning to me - it can be taken literally or figuratively lol. was surprised by the ending because everything started out in bliss with an unexpected twist at the end. his loss as they say. all in all really good.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

lol,he just missed out is all i can say !

Posted 3 Years Ago


Offers a bit to think on... and wander through.

Posted 3 Years Ago



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412 Views
11 Reviews
Rating
Added on February 23, 2017
Last Updated on February 23, 2017
Tags: romance, sex, poetry, relationships, bed, morning

Author

Alias
Alias

Brighton, United Kingdom



About
Poems that come out of my brain. I love to learn from others, so please review and let me know if you want me to read anything of yours, I have a million read requests so if there is a specific p.. more..

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