One Week

One Week

A Poem by Alias

We lasted as long 
as the bruise beside my n****e.

My lonely companion in the bathroom mirror,
while I waited for your renewal of its sting.
I woke this morning and noticed,
It was gone.

© 2017 Alias


Author's Note

Alias
a 5 min write to get my head straight, but as always I welcome critiques and help to improve my work. Thank-you to any who read x

26/11/17 - have deleted some lines from the first stanza, I think it works better without frills. Thoughts?

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Featured Review

amazing what comes in five minutes....the most free and natural verse---the pounding of the heart---and the honest missing of those we loved----
"it was gone"----seeing just one face in the mirror in the morning...the good bruise turned to the sad ache of longing.
j.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Morning light bring real life to our vision. I liked the honest thoughts leading to realistic ending. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote


Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A relationship; the beginning and the end perfectly captured in just a few short lines.

Wonderful word choice and I agree with all my very good friend jacob has said.

Beccy.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

a take no prisoners write. deeply effective and packed with raw emotion.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

loneliness is hard to deal with,but we survive

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

amazing what comes in five minutes....the most free and natural verse---the pounding of the heart---and the honest missing of those we loved----
"it was gone"----seeing just one face in the mirror in the morning...the good bruise turned to the sad ache of longing.
j.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Do you know. This is stark and to the point.
One great night, that should have lasted longer.
But like the love bite. It faded. Great write.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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283 Views
6 Reviews
Rating
Added on September 24, 2017
Last Updated on November 27, 2017
Tags: time, week, romance, poetry, sex, love, story, depression, nipple, sad, bruise

Author

Alias
Alias

Brighton, United Kingdom



About
Poems that come out of my brain. I love to learn from others, so please review and let me know if you want me to read anything of yours, I have a million read requests so if there is a specific p.. more..

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