Snow White, in the Point of View of the Evil Queen

There are always two sides to a story

You will now hear the story of Snow White in my point of view, which is of course the correct point of view. It may sound totally made up, but that’s because it is… I mean that’s because you've heard the other one so many times. Yeah, that’s what I’m going with.

 

Ok, so I’m evil… I mean, I’m a queen. And my husband accidentally dies. I don’t know how... but anyway I get his fortune and unfortunately also I get the extremely bratty daughter. I mean why does she have to complain about doing everything? You know I'm saving money this way. I don’t have to hire help.

 

So you know what the little snob does? She runs off with some prince (I just got off happy pills because the guy who killed my extremely rich husband left me high and dry. Wait why am I telling you this?) And now I have to spend money. Well I was ok after a couple of days.

 

What really made me mad was then I went and got my hair done, (I know this great place in Beverly Hills.) and then asked my mirror if I was beautiful. Do you know what the down low, dirty rotten, reflecting piece of glass said? Do you? Well it said, “ Snow White is the prettiest of them all”. Ohh that really ticked me off. And since you cant break a mirror with out bad luck I went after Snow White. It’s the reasonable thing to do right? I mean if you can’t climb the fence kill the guards, right?

 

Well that didn’t go so well. First of all I only knew one trained assasin in the whole entire kingdom. Isn’t that weird? I though they would be in the phone book or something! But I didn’t want him, ugh! (I was still getting over my broken rich heart). So what I decided to do was get a guard to do it. I got the smartest guard I had and gave him directions to that snobby spoiled brat. Well he returns and tells me he couldn’t kill her. I said “You know I have to kill you now, right?”

 

His answer was “Yup.” It seems since I made the law that guards couldn’t be smarter than their masters the moral of my security has taken a free fall. I dont understand why!

 

Then I used my brain (thats my new thing) and decided the mirror just made a mistake,so I tried again, and this time I used the old funky wording. “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall. Who’s the fairest one of all?

 

And his utterly coincidental reply was “Snow White is the fairest one of all.”

 

This I didn’t like. I kind of got carried away and broke the poor mirror. Some days I feel bad, because if I hadn't have broken it I wouldn't be withering away in bad luck. so I was cursed with bad luck, which unfortunately started then.

 

Some how i got this plan in my head that I, me, moi could kill Snow White. What I did is I went down into the basement and got into the Christmas presents I bought myself. And I got my ‘Little Scientist’ kit out and started with making apple juice. It didn’t work, it tasted kind of orange. But I didn't care because the potion I tried kind of worked. I wanted it to make me older for a day. It turned out to make me look prehistoric. But I guess it worked, I got Snow White to eat the apple!

 

While I was doing my victory jig some little midget things walked in. They chased me out the door and to the river. Well let me tell you a little fact… I now feel fat. Because I climbed out on a big fat branch and it BROKE! It couldn’t hold me. I was now going down the creek with out a paddle. And Snow White gets her prince, MY fortune, his fortune, and seven dwarfs. All I get is to work in a coal mine in ‘So far away you have never heard of it’ land. Poor me.

 

That’s how the story went. Now do you think it'll sell a million copies? NO it won’t because no one wants the truth they want happy endings with pie and chips. Which sounds good. Do you have a dollar?

Author's Note

This was written about two years ago and I've yet to revise it. That might explain why the style of writing in inmature.

Reviews

[Amanda]

I LOVE IT!!!!!! it is so cute and made me laugh, i love snow white's stepmom now!