I'm Suicidal

I'm suicidal
Five in the morning and I wish you were here
And you just have no idea 
Worthless - Alone
Can't make a friend
The pain won't end
My hands reek from touching my lonely self
My body - destroyed
Disgusting 
Violated by myself
Never loved by anyone
This is real - this hate - this depression
My obsession over you is unhealthy
Hell on earth
Everything hurts
and I'm hollow - empty
No one gets me
Trapped in my mind
Caught in the system
There truly is no rest for the wicked
and I am the worst 
One day you'll see me in that hearse
And before I go
I would have lived bold
And I just can't wait to die young
So until then
Let's just have fun