New Year

What I think

Peppered sheets of pure beauties lay sprawled over dying towers of grass-like proportions.

Timing surely for a face never seen but hearts lay quiet in between. 

Mountain sides careen hoping, dreaming, of unwanted soles to tread with unwanted souls. 

Though I will be here, staring at text, stitched through feelings and truths.

But you will be there, hiding in an everlasting line of unsatisfactory booths. 

Floods of unseen thoughts trickle through imperfections, dying at intersections. 

Staring at reflections, when I wish to be there. 

Colliding against syllables, wrapping vision and speaking to a near death like embrace. 

No past to deface, inevitable future calls us forth. 

For another year, the 13th, I fear. 

Reviews

[Caitlin Lea]

There are a lot of interesting things to latch onto in this. Quite good imagery you're painting.

My one suggestion would be to break up the lines a bit. Because all the lines are SO image-rich, it might be helpful to separate them out. This could help the reader not feel overwhelmed by the piece.

Good write!

[yashsickle]

Thank you! I will definitely take your criticism into consideration!

[yashsickle]

What did you mean by spreading them out?

[Caitlin Lea]

It's really up to you, but for example, you say:

Peppered sheets of pure beauties lay sprawled over dying towers of grass-like proportions.
Timing surely for a face never seen but hearts lay quiet in between.

You could make it more like:

Peppered sheets of pure beauties
lay sprawled over dying towers of grass-like proportions.

Timing surely for a face never seen
but hearts lay quiet in between.

Something like that. My tendency, of course, is to have incredibly short lines, so mine (using all your words) would be more like:

Peppered sheets
of pure
beauties

lay sprawled
over dying
towers
of grass-like

proportions.
Timing
surely
for a face

never seen
but hearts
lay quiet in
between.

I am NOT suggesting you be that drastic, unless you just want to try that out. HA. But yeah, just to shorten the lines up, so they're not as tedious to get through. (Not that they're tedious, really, but, as I said before, since your imagery is so PACKED into every line, it could be more effective to spread them out.)

:D