Prelude

co- written with Nirvana. http://www.writerscafe.org/commedia

We lie outside gently stroking each other's egos

as each goes and goes.

Lips drunk from red wine.

This s**t happens all the time.

Are you spewing fact or fiction 

about life and love?

My life Is love

and you're my mission.

Listen.

I can't your skin glistens

It's deafening.

Listen!

I cant visions have become fantasies

Isn't this love?

No I'm drunk

but It Is sublime.

No divine

my lips red too I know you notice.

Yes because you fill me up 

with liquid prowess.

to fill you up

fine

as you wish.

thinking laughing

don't stop

I won't 

The looseness of your dress 

flows to my tongue

Feeling loose In my dress but *hiccup*

I can't

I don't meant to repeat myself but 

this s**t happens all the time.

you tie me up as we lie

to tie you up 

Fine, I am yours

infinitely

In finality

Finally

Author's Note

to be continued.. Co-written with Nirvana

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Not sure how successful this is as a poem, but it's certainly dripping with originality & the fun banter is artfully volleyed! *ha! ha* I can't think of anything more seductive than co-writing a poem like this. Maybe you two should get a room! (((HUGS))) Thanks for the vicarious peek into your sexy gyrations.

[richy]

I guess it isn't a poem but i wasn't sure as to what it would be classified under. If you know please enlighten me!

[richy]

Also for the record this is strictly a writing collab!

[barleygirl]

I'm laughing at your defensive jab! Hey, I think sexy writing together is a hundred times better than getting a room.

On this website, I think people who have a short read are calling them poems, regardless of how much they vary from what one might expect. I think it's a good way to classify. Lots of people aren't in for a longer read, so they are clicking on "poem" to get a short read.

[Elise Anton]

Sorry about poking my head in here :)
http://www.writerscafe.org/StefanoSegnan
He's my guru on all things poetic. I know absolutely nothing about structure/style and I am learning from him. Maybe ask? Me being me, I love the whimsical flow.

Hello lovely lady above :) Fancy meeting again here!

[barleygirl]

Hey, I love it when a review turns into a discussion *smile*

[richy]

I just messaged him and hopefully the Guru comes through with some good critique.

[Elise Anton]

*big smile* I've grown rather fond of richy. He works. He perfects. I fly by the seat of my pants most times.(sigh) He's teaching me discipline in turn. Hoping you're having a good writing day/night?!

[barleygirl]

Yeah, I just read his poetic perfection in releasing that bladder-poppin' pressure *heh! heh! heh!*

[Elise Anton]

Well I know for a fact now that my poetry is NOT poetry. (another sigh) It lacks everything. But he's so good with all of the technical stuff, I trust his judgement. (Grow a real thick skin really quickly!!!) Nuh, he's a good guy to go to.

[richy]

I have zero idea on how to construct a poem. All my writings are first drafts written in the text box however i feel they will read well. So some actual insight into form and structure will be great for me. Thanks again!

[Elise Anton]

Pleasure as always :)

[barleygirl]

I tried one of these cyber-collaborations last evening (lasted 4 hours), but my male poet partner got too frenzied & self-destructed. Wow . . . you shoulda warned me! *heh! heh! heh!*

[richy]

Hahaha you need the right partner as in anything else!

[barleygirl]

Clearly! He excused himself from any further collaborations! *sigh*

[Carolynn]

This is quite the collaboration - I like it in its drunken rawness :) well done!

[M. L. F.]

I like this one. Very real and intense..

[Ruth]

I think it blends well as a collaboration and am intrigued to read the next installment :) Nice tension and anticipation :)

[Érenn]

Damn. Did you have to write the "to be continued..." XD this is good, feels like a prose sometimes, but I know it's a poem well written. ^^ Nice one Richy and Nirvana. Best lines : Fine, I am yours, Infinitely, in Finality. Loved it ^^
And I hope the 'meant' is intentionally spelt like that and it's not mean ^^(referring to 16th verse or 12th couplet)

[richy]

I was drunk hahah it's supposed to be meant. Thanks for enjoying it and yes there is so much more to a night like this! so to be continued...