I Am

I am my home.

A desert was I; disheveled

Voiceless and frightened 

Of whom people presumed me to be 

It was in my isolation 

That I covered myself in silk 

Putting on an act of hoax  

Into the misrepresentation of myself 

If I were to confess my reason for this act 

It would be because I chose to abandon who I was 

For their good faith and warmth 

Towards my forgery of someone else’s face 

Persuaded me 

To shamelessly flourish in my own deceit 

Whilst facing my own demons in the dead of the night

Defenseless yet masked 

I continuously waver the silk 

Out of fear of being found 

I hid myself within seconds 

Pinched every sand grain in life’s hourglass

Even the sun knew that its rays 

Would be tainted in my shadow

For never was I worth the sight for the world to see 

And the love for them to give

A discord of memories and forgotten disguises 

Melded into the face I finally burrowed 

Hands smeared from the murky waters of shame

In search of the face I long abandoned 

Rekindling the sense of individuality

I find my face with dust and grit 

A random blend of emotions under a smile 

And there I realized

Not once did it ever leave me

Not once did it ever shatter in pieces 

The sun’s rays embraced the enigma that I am 

They kissed my cheeks even in their afterglow 

Reminding me that I am existing

Existing despite the losses and soul-searching

All along I was conscious

Conscious that I dug a grave from all forgery and mischief 

It was the only grave in a wilted plowed field 

But from this field, I grew

I grew into my home 

Author's Note

Love yourself for the way you are. Love yourself for being better from your past mistakes and love yourself for acknowledging that you changed. Be the satin that protects. :)