Eclipse

Eclipse

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Primetime: An original form, created by Charlyne “Char” Zurick © 06/24/2010

"



Eclipse

This moment and forever,
hopes buried of together;
of ocean tides washing sand, 'neath our feet.

Away with wondrous semblance 
of all thy sweet remembrance;
those starry nights filled with our mingled heat.

Every bit I shall forget,
‘tis hard, I must now admit…
when my lonely hand strays beneath the sheet.

Those wint'ry days…coffee sips,
lives o’ershadowed by eclipse;
our love, I'm afraid, remains incomplete...




© 2017 Dr. YumnaKay


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Author's Note

Dr. YumnaKay
A new form which Richard taught me as my learning experience continues 😊

My Review

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Featured Review

While I'm not familiar with this form, your rhyme & rhythm feels natural & well-structured. It seems like this message blends the styles of a more formal Elizabethan language mixed with a more casual everyday imagery. Good job for a learning experience!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

4 Years Ago

Thank you for this nice review over my little piece, BG. Truly appreciate your liking 😊



Reviews

Though, it's true, Yumna, that I taught you the form, creativity and originality are those aspects of poetry and writing that must spring forth from one's very core … their mind, heart, soul, and emotions … in such a way that grips the reader's imagination and senses, that makes words take on a life of their own and dance upon the page … as you've so skillfully done in every line and verse of this enthrallingly and tastefully presented piece.
Thank you for the honor of letting me teach you, to help you further develop your potentially amazing skills, and for the pleasure of reading another of your truly heartfelt poems … grateful hugs 'n blessings to you, Yumna! ⁓ Richard : )

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

4 Years Ago

Thank you, Richard! You're always kind in all your appreciations of my work. But you know, I wouldn'.. read more
Richard 🍃

4 Years Ago

Paying it forward, Yumna, to one whom wants and deserves it, and what a distinct pleasure you make i.. read more
wow, this reminds me a little of Shakespeare haha ... great work wonderful flow...

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

4 Years Ago

That's a great compliment! Thank you, WA! Truly appreciate your words! 😊
Writing Angel

4 Years Ago

your welcome!!!
I love it. This one of those amazing poems that I would always love to read again and again. You nailed it darling! :) The love is truly in the air though the words sounds in despair. Keep writing. :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much, C! I'm glad you felt this write :)
And I agree, love remains although peop.. read more
Your writing fluently presents the feeling of missing someone. A very strong write, I am left curious and not quite sure how to articulate my interpretation of it though I sure did feel it.


Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

4 Years Ago

Thank you, MP! I think it was a mixed feeling with which I wrote this..
I appreciate your wor.. read more
It's a beauty, go on with your practise, churn it well, .....I enjoyed reading...:)

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

4 Years Ago

Thank you, Surya! I'm glad you liked it! I hope to do that 😊😊
You are turning out to be more and more wondrous poet...nice form of poetry....keep learning and sharing let your creative juices overflow :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much, Ria, for the appreciation! It truly means a lot! I'm beginning to quite like what.. read more
Beautiful! I enjoyed your poem so much! :D
Work hard!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

4 Years Ago

Thank you, Abel! I'm glad you liked it! And I will lol 😛😉
Nicely done! I truly enjoyed reading this poem! Keep up the great work! :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

4 Years Ago

Thank you! I appreciate your kind words 😊

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Added on March 14, 2017
Last Updated on November 6, 2017


Author

Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Pakistan



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