Shatter me ~ to pieces

Experimental.

Shatter me

to pieces, I thought,

as my fingers killed time,

tracing the blues of

your ink, faded.

Shatter me 

to pieces, I thought,

as I sat and sat, looking 

through the glass window,

flashes of pretty pictures passing 

in fast motion, obscured.

Shatter me 

to pieces, I thought,

as I paced around my room, 

my heartbeat the sound of 

thunder and my breath, laboured.

And shatter me

to pieces, untouched.

Author's Note

Not really refined. Still feels unfinished but oh well..(saved for later edits)

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

i feel this one for sure..the repetition works particularly well says i ...there are almost terrifying moments we are shattered ...its numbing ... almost makes one sick to the stomach ... i like bringing the "outside" world into the scene as we are all connected to it no matter our personal experiences ... but in this one .. that world is un-graspable as it blurs by ... i don't think i would change much on this if anything ..it is very complete to me ...maybe expand imagery, colors and scents somehow ... but not needed to create this poignant moment ..and i love that pic ...along with your title the first thing i see is the shattering of her face ...in horrible grief ..good stuff Dr.
E.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for your thoughts and suggestions on this piece, Einstein. Glad you like it. (:

[Onlyme]

Interesting perspective and view of things. Really good read. vivid and imaginative.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for appreciating, Dee. 😊

[Lavi]

Ooh, I love this. The descriptions were amazing but the way you ended that was... mind opening. Love the different take on perspective, it's like a fresh breath of air after diving in the ocean for so long.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for your lovely words here, Lavi. Glad you like this one 😊