Denizens

Dreams, like days, are

Ghosted by the ravenous:

Deep sea monstrosities

Distend and distort

During long ascents into

The shallow seas.

Still eyes stare roundly,

All flaccid passivity-

But needle-brimming jaws

Snap coldly shut

In reflex, even

After death.

Reviews

[DirectTangent]

Wow. This feels eel-y dark. Perhaps speaks to the kind of dreams to which you refer.

Artful use of language to convey this - the contrast of flaccid passivity with the needle-brimming jaws is striking - for me, almost like the sudden shock surprise in certain scary movies, there is a "gotcha" effect at the ending.

Nicely done.

[Zugzwang]

Thanks, Tangent. Frankly, I wasn't sure what this one was about while writing it but I think it refers to dreams as you say, straddling both the conscious and unconscious aspects of the psyche. I really like this poem and am edified that others seem to find something in it too. Thanks for the kind comments and insights. Yar, and it has a sting in the tail, which I like.

[Firebird]

Haunting and dark. Scary enough to evoke nightmares. I think the imagery is great. Good write.

[Zugzwang]

Thank you, Firebird. Glad you liked it. Dream well.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

amazing imagery...those dreams are there till we die...till the jaws snap shut...we reach for them even after we expire...but for the most part, they have become ghosts long before we do.

[Zugzwang]

Yes. They are not as real as we are yet have a power over us while we sleep and sometimes during the waking hours too. Thanks for your comment, Jacob.

[alifeacoustic]

I like the start, dreams like days.... It leaves the reader wondering which is worse, dreams or reality.
Perfectly worded with not a word wasted.

[Zugzwang]

Thank you, sir. You are literally too kind. I love the alliterative line!