The Arisen

Pale death-thoughts,

Having arisen from

The oily depths,

Bob grotesquely on the surface.

Their bloated faces split

By vacuous decaying grins

As they putrefy and distend

Under the flaying sun,

A reminder:

This is what you are.

31 Mar 16

Reviews

[V]

Abstract piece, your choice of words read a tad opaque but entertaining. It leaves spaces to interpret and ponder on. A sense of unease and gloom in it, a kind of somber feeling of self-awareness.

[Zugzwang]

Yep, it's one of my weird ones.
Let's just say I have some unpleasant thoughts and this poem is one way of coming to terms with them.

[V]

Ah ok but reads interesting. I like the way you think even the unpleasantness about it.

[Zugzwang]

Yes, I do play with the images and ideas to see that I can make from them, if that makes any sense. It's kind of fun, and perhaps a bit of that comes across as well.

[V]

Of course it makes sense. It's what writers do; playing with words and images. I especially like to play with words, find synonyms or even kind of invent new ones f.ex. to describe the images in my head or let the words create images on their own, sort of.

[Zugzwang]

Well, Shakespeare's famous for creating new words, so you're in good company.

[V]

Haha yes maybe

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it is part of us...the gross thoughts, the blemishes that signify who we were, who we are...that decaying grin as we grow older...isn't it beautiful?

j.

[Zugzwang]

Haha. Yes, it is..all of it! Part of the rich tapestry of life, to resurrect a hackneyed phrase.
read moreHaha. Yes, it is..all of it! Part of the rich tapestry of life, to resurrect a hackneyed phrase.
Thanks for the review, Jacob
-z.