Lonely Hallways

It gets kind of depressing

When you’re thinking this way

So much on your mind

Yet not a thing in the world to say

 

As you’re walking you stare

At all the people in the halls

Chatting up their friends

When you’ve got no one at all

 

So, keep your head low

Study every detail of your books

Slip into your next class

Avoiding everyone’s curious looks. 

Author's Note

Constructive criticism, please?

Reviews

[The Nude Writer]

What message are you trying to give? Criticizing the quiet loner? Or complimenting them for being themselves. I would make it a bit longer to tell more of a story. Well written though :)

[fireblossom]

I have read several of your poems. I am so glad you are a writer. Writing gives you a way to speak from a quiet private place. You have a voice that works well for a writer. If this piece reflects your life at school I am sad for those people who see you walk past without realizing what a talented person you are.

Keep up the good work Julie.

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

I love your words , you touched in a subject that not many young guys your age are willing to admit its the lonliness witout friends

[Chemical Kitten]

I really like the lines "So much on your mind/ Yet not a thing in the world to say" It reminds of me of memories I've had, and gives me a better understanding of the poem, and how you probably felt when writing it. The rest of the poem is really nice too, I think the only thing I don't like is the last stanza. It doesn't seem to fit as well? It might work better if you changed the last line, which makes the unfittingnesseseses stand out :3

I really like how you're writing more though. :)