Diary of lonely man in nature page 1

Diary of lonely man in nature page 1

A Story by WRITER-----------POET

I am now in my perfect New --York flat. All here is perfect my sound system and home cinema. My bathroom and kitchen with luxury of decadent man born in western culture. My live is just about numbers make money and spend money. My life don't have any purpose. I am like character from TV soap opera . Maybe I looks happy but down there inside something very painful and dark. I decide I cannot do it anymore. I need get to back of ancient times of men . When all act was real there was no time for make up and diplomatic chatting. I know where I am going up to the north. Into deep woods of sacred places what was forgotten and left to be rot. I buy all my stuff during the last month when I make it decision . Big rucksack , few useful clothes, tent, sleeping bag, notes and pen for diary, knife and rope, and my courage to take on. All here I left behind all this fake paradise and visual drugs all this music and books for nothing. Now I am ready and nothing and nobody can stop me. I was thinking maybe I can burn all this apartment into ashes. But I don't think destructive act will help me achieve what I want to do. Last look behind me , last memories burning in my mind. Walk away from that square concrete building. Almost looks like fort or prison. My train will go in 6






 morning. I chose to walk it's quiet early morning in Tuesday. Fresh wind and few birds in the air. I feel happy in my steps. I almost start laughing loud . My first big steps in my life and it's happening in my early forties . So I celebrate with my laugh and my overwhelming joy. Train station have lights around the walls so it's looks like space station on the darkest moon. Few people sitting in waiting room. Some of them have headphones and some of them are absorb by computers and tablets screens . Looks like inferno of digital Dante. I go outside there is few more of them. Now with coffees and smoking they looks like shadows of zombies. Nobody talk with nobody. Scenery of ending civilization . Train come in our platform heading into North Lonely Mountains. Into places where the last Mohicans was killed for this what we can all around. I cannot find good right word for this. Inside the train same scenery people get sit. Started to consume digital hell in form of paradise. I don't even smile all looks to me far away and not useful for me. So I just watch shadows of landscape . I think about it people what I will never miss about snobs parties and chatting about nothing. All these shops with no spirit people in underground and on the ground all same to me. Activists or not. Here we are . I went away from this . Aiming forward to my new real adventure . My new life in arms of nature. I can feel it seductive energy of new fresh air. I start read it Hopi prophecy book . Sentences pointing out our end in our own minds. I can relate this world went crazy about anything . There in the corner young little girl holding little doll and she watch me with eyes of victims. We are all victims but we can be more then that. 







© 2017 WRITER-----------POET



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Jay
Your story has a nice set of words, but it lacks coherence with issues of tense and bad grammar throughout the first section. The second section has similiar errors. Also your story is composed of short sentences, while this is effective to convey a terse and disjointed set of observations, you should consider adding a bit more flowery languange and efficient grammatical edits so your readers doesn't get hung up on them. Good start.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

WRITER-----------POET

1 Month Ago

Thank you very much for your visit and honest observation of my writing. English is my second langua.. read more
Jay

1 Month Ago

Thank you for taking it so well, i thought i was being too mean, i hope you coninue to make your pas.. read more
WRITER-----------POET

1 Month Ago

I don't feel you was too mean. Sometimes I get here response like I am writing in down syndrom style.. read more



Reviews

this piece like all others penned by you offer a look thru the eyes of one that takes on the challenge of english as second language.
for those readers that are stuck in the rut of proper form, correct spelling, composition and flow ... it is a challenge
but for those knowledgeable in open interpretation and acceptance, it is an easy read that carries with it a strong message.
don't change a thing ... it is strong and correct in it's manner and form

Posted 1 Month Ago


WRITER-----------POET

1 Month Ago

Thank you for your really supporting voice. Yes there is some good sides and bad sides of each aspec.. read more
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Jay
Your story has a nice set of words, but it lacks coherence with issues of tense and bad grammar throughout the first section. The second section has similiar errors. Also your story is composed of short sentences, while this is effective to convey a terse and disjointed set of observations, you should consider adding a bit more flowery languange and efficient grammatical edits so your readers doesn't get hung up on them. Good start.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

WRITER-----------POET

1 Month Ago

Thank you very much for your visit and honest observation of my writing. English is my second langua.. read more
Jay

1 Month Ago

Thank you for taking it so well, i thought i was being too mean, i hope you coninue to make your pas.. read more
WRITER-----------POET

1 Month Ago

I don't feel you was too mean. Sometimes I get here response like I am writing in down syndrom style.. read more
I enjoyed this story. I felt sympathetic to the longing to reconnect with nature. I liked some of the descriptions used ("fake paradise and visual drugs").


Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

WRITER-----------POET

1 Month Ago

Thank you very much for nice feedback .

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Added on October 3, 2017
Last Updated on October 4, 2017