A Killer Among Us

A Killer Among Us

A Story by B-law

When customers at a diner are being killed off mysteriously, they began to question if one of them is the killer.


The cold and brutal rain was pouring drastically as the thunder roared loud and frightening. The customers inside the diner didn’t seem much bothered by the harsh weather conditions as they tended to their meals. A man soon walked into the diner causing the doorbell to ring. He was dressed in a grey suit, with black church shoes. He had a black trench coat that went passed his knees. The rain drops had trickled down from his coat that protected his suit from the rain. He approached the wooden rectangular counter that stretched from one side of the diner to the other. He sat down in a circular roller chair with no cushion. As he was getting settled, he took off his trench coat and placed it in the seat next to him.

“Hello, sir, what can I get for you?” The waitress asked with a smile.

She seemed to be in her mid-30’s. She had dark orange curly hair, and huge dimples on her cheeks.

“Just a coffee please,” The man responded as he took a dollar out.

He gave it to the waitress, and she placed it in the cash register.

“What do I put it under sir?” The waitress asked.

“Neil Bakers.”

The waitress went back to the kitchen where she prepared the coffee.

“Hey baby! How about you come over here and give me some of that sweet thang!” A man yelled.

Neil turned to the side where a man was sitting three seats from him. The man looked the same age as Neil. The man had a black crew cut. He was dressed in tan slacks, and a brown long sleeve collar shirt. His face was not well groomed as the facial hair on his face ran wild.

“Come on baby, let me get some!” The man continued while the waitress ignored him.

The man turned to Neil with a scornful look.

“What are you looking at?” The man questioned.

Neil turned slowly back to the counter. The waitress approached Neil with a cup of coffee.

“Here you go Mr. Bakers.”


Neil took out 2 dollars and gave it to the waitress.

“A tip,” He smiled.


As the waitress put the 2 dollars in her pocket, the man came up and grabbed her arm.

“Hey baby, I see you were ignoring me. How about you stop acting like that, and give me some sugar.”

“How about you get lost!?” Neil urged as he got out of his seat.

The man let go of the waitress’ arm and proceeded to get up as well.

“Oh, and what are you about to do about?”

The two looked each other dead in the eyes. Neither of them were backing down.

“You been bothering this lady, and it’s not right.”

“Well, I think you’re bothering me now, and if you got a problem with it, how about we step outside and handle it?”

They grew more furious as the edge was close. Suddenly an older man around the age of 65 stepped in between the two.

“How about we all just chill. There’s no need to cause any trouble especially with this weather out,” The old man smiled as he was moving towards Neil.

“Whatever, I’ll take my plate somewhere else. I was just trying to have some fun,” The man scolded.

The man took his plate and sat down at a table near the windows. Neil went back to his seat.

“Thanks, sir,” Neil congratulated to the old man.

“No, problem. I had to deal with a******s like him all the time in the service.”

“Oh, you served as well?”

“Yeah, 77th division, France 1918. You?”

“65th Battalion, in Germany from 42 to 44.”

“How old are you son?”


“Well, nice talking to you.”

“Same here.”

The old man went back to his table. Neil went back to drinking his coffee.

“Hey thanks for helping me out,” The waitress declared.

“No problem. Do you deal with guys like that all the time?”


“Are there any other workers here?”

“Well in the morning and during the day, there’s more, but since it’s getting late, it’s just me and Henry, the cook. He’s in the back right now. We close up at 10, so we got like an hour before closing.”

“I’m surprised it’s still a couple of people here. Not a lot, but a few, especially at this time with this weather. They should all be home right now.”

“Yeah, I assume many are coming from work, since we do get a few at this time who come from work. Many of them either come from New York, or Connecticut. We’re right in between. What do you do by the way?”

“I work for an advertising firm down in Manhattan.”

“Manhattan? What are you doing in a diner out in the middle of nowhere that is many miles from Manhattan?”

“I’m going to visit my brother who lives in Connecticut.”

“You work on Wall Street?”


“Well, my name’s Grace by the way.”

“Well, nice to meet you Grace.”

Grace went back towards the kitchen. While Neil drank his coffee, he looked around the diner.

“Did you hear, a sista got arrested for not giving her seat up to a white woman?” One of the two men sitting at a table said to the other.

“Why the hell did she do that? She knows she couldn’t get away with it.”

“Turns out, that the white lady wanted a seat in the back since there were no more in the front, and I guess the sista wasn’t having it.”

“Well, that’s a start. We’ll see how that turns out.”

The two men sat from the opposite side of each other. There were in dirty clothes; they seemed like they worked at some kind of steel mill or factory. They looked to be a little bit younger than Neil. Neil saw the old man who continued to eat before he spotted the man who he had a dispute with. The man looked as if he was about to fall asleep.

“I’m the great f*****g Victor, and no one can stop me,” The man muttered.

Neil figured he was drunk. There was a boy at the phone in the corner. He was wearing a high school varsity jacket.

“Yes, mom. I just had to go out and get something to eat. I’ll be home,” The boy spoke with a smile on the phone.

In another table, Neil spotted a boy in his mid-20’s who was reading something with Asian writing on it. It had a picture of Mao Zedong on it. There they all were. Tending to their lives as everything was normal for them. Nothing was connected between them. They were all total strangers to one another. The doorbell rang again as the door opened. Suddenly, Grace released a huge scream that caught everyone’s attention. Neil turned around at the door where he saw a man with a bloody face stumbling in. He was limping very slowly. His face had blood all over it as if he was beaten severely. He was wheezing very fast as he was heading for the nearest empty table. Everyone in the diner had stood up to see the scene. No one said anything, they were just puzzled. The man was soaking wet with rain as each of his steps had left a print that was mixed with mud, water, and blood. He was in a navy blue suit, and he wore a black hat that went with the suit. When he finally sat down at a table near the window, his head slumped onto the table. The old man went over to the body slowly and placed his fingers on his neck.

“He’s dead.” The old man pronounced to everyone who had circled around the body at the table.


Read the rest of this at http://bwlawson.com/a-killer-among-us/

© 2016 B-law

Author's Note

I hope you all enjoy this story. And feel free to give me feedback, thank you!

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I really enjoyed reading this story..The title fits the story line well.. The story captivated my attention from beginning to end.. I wondered who the killer was and when it finally came down to Neil , that is when I understood why... Well written, I could see the different scenes in my head.... Thank you for sharing..

Posted 2 Months Ago

I did enjoy this story. How a normally looking atmosphere turned to become a scary one with the arrival of that injured man was intriguing. I also like the portrayal of the characters, however I think it can still be elaborate. I think that line with sweet thing was spelled as thang....good one!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 Year Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on July 30, 2016
Last Updated on July 30, 2016
Tags: murder, suspense, mystery, crime, diner, customers, thriller




Hi everyone I am Brandon Lawson. I am an author, screenwriter, and poet born in raise in the East Bay of the San Francisco Bay Area. I picked up creative writing in 2014 when I first posted his poems.. more..

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