The Watcher

The Watcher

A Poem by Raven Moonchild

I'll tell thee how I saw thy death,
 on a stormy winter's night.
Upon the wind, I felt thy breath;
 a mere kiss of frostbite.
Thy heartbeat drummed within the clouds;
 lifespark flashing by.
Thy darkness slowly shrouds,
 as I heard thy final cry.
Within the rain, I tasted thy precious blood.
 Chocolates melting on my tongue,
 the smell of thy fear crushed in the mud.
Thy sanity finally wrung.

Close thine eyes, empty one.
Thy misery is finally done.

© 2017 Raven Moonchild

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I'm not usually moved by rhyming poetry, but you have a style that makes me sort of, disregard the rhyme, and delve into the words in between. This is good.

Posted 3 Months Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raven Moonchild

3 Months Ago

Thanks. :) I tend to do better with writing poetry that rhymes, but every once in a while, I make th.. read more
I love how well you blended your AB format in this, that is tough to do. Your rhyme scheme is well choosen and has great imagery. The old English added a nice touch to it as well. As always, great job and keep writing! :)

Posted 4 Months Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raven Moonchild

4 Months Ago

Thank you very much. :) Old english is my favourite. :D
Nice, Raven!

Seems like you were inspired by the events at the Wall in GoT!

I like the use of Elizabethan language. It lends itself well to the tone and mood of the piece.

A very nicely executed write.

Posted 4 Months Ago

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

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3 Reviews
Added on September 28, 2017
Last Updated on September 28, 2017


Raven Moonchild
Raven Moonchild


I'm a 22 year old Pansexual Pagan who has been a poet for nearly ten years. I come from a big, open minded and heavy metal loving family. :) I hope you enjoy my work. more..

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