Does My Bum Look Big In These ??

Being tactful,

So, she who must be obeyed entered the living room wearing her latest purchase.

" Does my bum look big in these ? "

Already knowing the answer I looked up. The Good lady wife was holding her shirt just above waist height, showing off floral patterned, skin tight leggings, on which the daisies were stretched to the size of sunflowers, sunflowers with cellulite.

"No my sweet, if anything they highlight your curvaceous figure "

"Ahh, do you think so? they're not to bright? I'm not to old to wear these? do they give me a camels hoof? "

" To bright, no dear the colour lifts your skin tone, to old, never, as for the camels hoof...."

As I said this she turned to face me. Jesus, 2 yards of material had disappeared into her nether regions, either side of which flaps formed, these, if plaid coated would not have looked out of place on a deer stalker hat.

" No dear, not a sign of a camels hoof "

"Ahh, thanks honey, they're not to big are they ? I'll wear these to the christening tomorrow "

She pecked me on the cheek and thundered upstairs to change.

At least the vicar would have somewhere to park his bike I thought to myself

Reviews

[Norman223]

The mental vision of dromedary derrieres and bactrian backsides to complement the camel's hoof was too much for me. I shall never be able to attend a christening again.
Thanks for the giggle!!

[Gee]

Thank you Norman. I hope you are well

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Oh you are a dead man when she read this (I sent it by courier this afternoon!). Funny and too real to be true lol.

Too many to's that need to be 'too' though!

[Gee]

Cheers John

[ROXANE DORSEY]

Nice write. I love his poem and thanks for sharing.

[Gee]

Thank you..

[The Ink Chapters]

Very funny :) a nice little read with a simple plot. Good work!
Only thing I wasn't as fond of was the magazine the husband was reading. The title was a tad too corny for an otherwise great fictional anecdote.

[Gee]

Cheers....

[EJHeather]

hahahaha! I love how you recreated the flaw most men find annoying in a Woman, I like this story, I hope you've sent it in to your local paper, it might spread some much needed laughter to the world.

[Gee]

Cheers EJH

[Corset]

This is probably the one and only time you could have been tactfully honest. it doesn't do you justice love, how about the blue ones...

[Gee]

Just something silly, not true to life but no doubt to many.
Thank you

[Stella Armour]

Hahaha.... here i am tittering to myself at the image . I like your diplomacy :)

[Gee]

Thanks Stella, thankfully not my wife but mannnnnn do you see some sights when out.
Partners should get a grip !!

[Stella Armour]

haha.... plenty to grip a lot of the time :)

[Tom]

Tact, diplomacy and understanding, dear hubby had it in abundance, whatever the reality?

Haughty, naughty and hilarious!

[Gee]

Thanks Tom..

[Ken Simm.]

I've often thought if a man is standing alone in a forest and his wife can't hear him. Is he still wrong?

[Gee]

Only if he is breathing Ken...

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder – then again – ‘Beauty’ was a horse!!! Very entertaining and humorous write (I wouldn’t share this with a feminist group though)... Bless ………..

[Gee]

lol, no, not a good idea. Cheers