Does My Bum Look Big In This ??

Does My Bum Look Big In This ??

A Story by Gee
"

Being tactful,

"
So, she who must be obeyed entered the living room wearing her latest purchase.

" Does my bum look big in this ? "

Already knowing the answer I looked up. The Good lady wife was holding her shirt just above waist height showing off
a floral patterned pair of leggings, skin tight, the daisies that adorned her cheek area stretched to the size of sunflowers, sunflowers with cellulite.

"No my sweet, if anything they highlight your curvaceous figure "

"Ahh, do you think so? they're not to bright ? I'm not to old to wear these ? do they give me a camels hoof ? "

" To bright, no dear the colour lifts your skin tone, to old, never, as for the camels hoof...."

As I said this she turned to face me. Jesus, 2 yards of material had disappeared into her nether regions, either side of which flaps formed, these, if plaid coated would not have looked out of place on a deer stalker hat.

" No dear, not a sign of a camels hoof "

"Ahh, thanks honey, they're not to big are they ? I'll wear these to the christening tomorrow "

She pecked me on the cheek and thundered upstairs to change.

At least the vicar would have somewhere to park his bike I thought to myself



© 2017 Gee



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Reviews

This is hilarious! I love uninhibited outrageousness like this. What an amazing imagination you have! The way you use exaggeration as humor is off the charts: "sunflowers with cellulite" . . . "two yards of material had disappeared into her nether regions" . . . and on that last one, a wicked blend of understatement & exaggeration (how do you DO that?) *smile* (((HUGS)))

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Lo, thanks. An underused mind and over active imagination is to blame
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Lou
Love the dry humour, cringing for your wife, made me chuckle.

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

My wife, oh no, no, no, no..........No dear not you.
Thank you
Bahahahahaha, too funny. Saying one thing, thinking another kept someone out of trouble!

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Indeed, thank you.
SJ Mullins

7 Months Ago

You're welcome! Smart guy!
I love this - can I say that? Well, I do love it. You have a great sense of humor. Thanks for the smile today! By the way, does this comment make my butt look big? :) Julie

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Hmmmmmmmmmm, no comment. Thank you
You made me smile through the whole thing. haha. Excellent story.

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Cheers Relic
You must love that woman sooooooooo much!

You'd make a brilliant diplomat, and, for sure we could do with some good ones. Either that you were wearing someone else's glasses, dark ones, at that!
'
" Does my bum look big in this ? " Already knowing the answer .. ' You crazy man, this is more than funny, more than.. MORE! Love it! .

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Thank you Emma
I can't believe I'm sitting here laughing like a loon at three in the morning. I'm hoping your good lady doesn't read your work, but I'll come along to the funeral if she does :)
Loved the stretched daisies description, brilliant.

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Thanks Nemo, glad it raised a titter.
Aloha Gee, lol that was brilliant. I was laughing to myself while my husband was reading next to me he had to see what was so funny. We both think you deserve a prize! Izzy

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Thanks Izzy
hahahahahaha, I laughed out loud after reading the part about the camel hoof and the last line. lol

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Cheers, glad it raised a chuckle
Those words. Does my bum look big in this. Many a marriage has ended on that answer. I like your diplomacy. That takes skill. And the good thing is, if anybody tells her the truth. You just come out with the tried and tested phrase. Darling, what do i know about fashion.

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Cheers Paul

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Added on April 26, 2017
Last Updated on September 6, 2017

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, Buckinghamshire, United Kingdom



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