Human Oddities

Human Oddities

A Story by la Abeja

     Among the many things Lynn had to do yesterday, she decided her first stop should be the bank to deposit her paycheck.  Logical choice considering she had all of about ten dollars to her name and had yet to buy groceries for the week.  As soon as she pulled into the parking lot, however, she remembered, "Crud today is the third of the month. All the old people are here to cash their social security checks today."

     To make matters worse, yesterday was Friday.  Fridays are always the busiest days of the week; on one week the city employees receive their paycheck and the county employees the next.  There is no rhyme of reason as to when a wave of workers will come in or how large it will be.

     As Lynn walked through the first set of glass doors she thought, "This was probably a mistake," and when she pushed through the second set of doors she mumbled, "I knew it! I should have used the drive-through."  But Lynn was already inside; besides, each of the three drive-through lanes were backed up three or four deep anyway.

     So Lynn quickly jumped in line before the next wave of city workers arrived.

     Most of the customers already in line were normal enough.  Just your every-day construction workers with red Georgia clay stains covering their Caterpillar boots and their Carhartt jeans up to their knees.  Of course, there were some exceptions.  There was the elderly lady wearing orthopedic sandals and canary yellow socks; dressed in a red and white striped t-shirt and a gray knit skirt that was too small.  "Poor thing, that was probably all she had," Lynn thought as she desperately tried to be patient.

     Somewhere in the crowd ahead of Lynn was a slicked down salesman who smelled as though he’d fallen into his cologne bottle earlier that morning.  That mixed with the smell of the man behind her, who must have lived in a ten by eight box with nothing more than an endless supply of cigarettes for the better part of his life, nearly made her gag.  So she held her breath and the line moved along.

     The third person in line from the tellers was a man they "affectionately" call, "Please and Thank-you."  Lynn watched as the tellers volleyed glances back and forth, each waiting to see who was going to help him.  "Please and Thank-you" acquired his nick-name because he was notorious for walking up, handing the teller a wadded mass of small bills and change and having it exchanged for a different configuration of small bills and change.  For example, if he handed them a five, three ones and fifty cents in quarters, he would ask for something like, "Ten dimes, ten nickels, eight quarters and five ones," and immediately follow that with, "Please and thank-you."

     Lynn felt a little sorry for him.  He seemed like someone who had fried his brain out years ago and therefore, couldn't really help it.  "At least he doesn't stink." she thought as she drew a new breath.

     The line moved up again and Lynn was afterward two places away from depositing her check.

     The next person to be waited on was an elderly woman who had come to the bank in her light blue and pink house dress, bedroom slippers and fashionably styling teal plastic rollers in her hair.  "Why people don't put on clothes before coming to town is beyond me." Lynn thought as she rolled her eyes.  She was feeling more rushed and less sympathetic by the minute.

     "Next," was called by the teller to her right, and the elderly woman shuffled forward.  "She must have forgotten to put her teeth in this morning as well," Lynn thought as she contemplated the unintelligible sound of each slobbery syllable the elderly woman said.  However, the young man who waited on her could and that's all that mattered.

     "May I help you?" was asked by the teller to Lynn's far left; finally, it was her turn.  The lady behind the teller line was one of Lynn’s friends from high school.  They exchanged "how d'ya dos" and the teller deposited the check into Lynn's account.  There wasn't anymore time than that to chat; the line was once again out the door.


© 2010 la Abeja



Author's Note

la Abeja
When I come up with a better title, I'll change it. In the meantime, if you have a suggestion, feel free to include it in your review.
4-9-10
For anyone who has read this previously, you may notice that I have endeavored to correct many of my wording and punctuation errors. If however you notice some that I have missed, please feel free to point them out.

Please note: This story was not in any way intended to be mean or cruel. It is merely a reflection of the people who come in to my job on a regular basis. Because, face it, we are all thinking the same thing.

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Reviews

It's well written. It clearly describes what everyone goes through and thinks each day, or at least the most common train of thought. It's descriptive without rambling on, which is good in a story. There are some minor punctuation/grammar errors, but those are natural in most works. Well done.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Interesting story...thanks for taking us into the depths of the human mind...The story needed a little more, it seems like a chapter in a bigger story with a conflict to solve some climax that adds action and entices the reader to keep on reading. Maybe that'll help. Thanks for sharing. Keep on writing.
Gionelly*KiSS

Posted 7 Years Ago


Well i hate to critisize such a great story but i have to say it. Well at the top you mentioned it being friday yesterday and then saying it was a busy day. you should have said today was friday. That was a little mistake. Then i mean i don't know where your going with this story. You told nothing about the character herself only the people she saw. You left nothing that would really want someone to read on. I mean there is no action. Not exactly fighting but there just isn't any thing that would tie me down. Im still gonna read on but i think those are some things you should work on you know.

THnk you for choosing the editing service and for choosing me to edit your story

Posted 7 Years Ago


I enjoyed this. It made me smile to think about all the so called 'odd' dressed people and let me tell you, I see far too many at my job and just wandering around. Keep up the wonderful work!

Posted 7 Years Ago


wow i'm sure everyone sees someone everyday and they think "did you dress yourself blindfolded this morning..?" lol i know i do, but reading this story makes me feel bad about thinking it. i don't know if that was your intention, but yeah, it was a really good, descriptive story, simple yet impacting. good job on this :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


I like how descriptive you've made each person. It's quite judgemental not a criticism more of a human trait I feel everyone has in them. Whenever I am on a bus or surrounded by different people you don't realise how people condense you into a mould very quickly. It makes you think how you are perceived by the people surrounding you.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I was at the Golden Corral the other day for lunch and there was a man wandering aimlessly around the parking lot in bright (and I mean BRIGHT) red pants, a white shirt with big red flowers, tan loafers, and carrying a banana. Bizarre people are everywhere.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on April 1, 2010
Last Updated on April 17, 2010

Author

la Abeja
la Abeja

GA



About
Though I enjoy writing, I am only a novice. Many of my peers enjoy the pieces I have written in the past, but I would really enjoy hearing the opinion, no matter how harsh, of someone who does not kn.. more..

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