Kill me, if you dare .

Kill me, if you dare .

A Poem by Raghib

Kill me , if you dare ,
Theres no place for me here ,
I will die with a smile on my face .

I am too weak to depend ,
On myself to grab the end,
Of the knife and slash my wrist .

Let me see your hand come here,
Let the metal feel my skin ,
Let it know there's someone who doesnt fear .

I'll kiss death's lips today,
As she sucks my soul inside,
Until theres no more of me left .

And when devil calls my name,
I will stand up with pride there,
The hell's fire struggling to match my rage

© 2017 Raghib



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Reviews

It's so deep and painful to write and read yet beautiful!

Posted 2 Months Ago


First, as poetry:

You establish an AAB rhyming scheme in S1 & 2, but then abandon it and don't rhyme again. If you're going to rhyme, do so throughout, because the reader expects a predictable structure.

You're not taking prosody into account., so the number of feet in a given line, which should maintain, stanza-to-stanza, varies wildly, as does trochaic and iambic openings to the lines. Taking a look at the excerpt to, Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled, on Amazon might clarify what I mean, and give a better understanding of structured poetry.

And as for the theme of "poor me," I favor a more creative approach, like this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrFViBSYPtQ



Posted 2 Months Ago


Rather than do a critique I just sent you a message I hope you find useful. Hell on earth at the hands of another is a very relatable topic so it is educational reading how others deal with it and nicely done :~) Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

Posted 2 Months Ago


love,and all it`s effects,i enjoyed this emotional write

Posted 2 Months Ago


You are a true daydreamer like you mentioned in your profile. otherwise how could you imagine this in a lecture . So boring..............Lectures. But after few years you will feel boring without those memories of boring lectures. So now please enjoy them. Otherwise you will regret one day.

Keep writing.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Strong, powerful, passionate poem. Eloquent, evocative words. For all who stare death in the face fearlessly and have the courage to invite or defeat it. Bravo!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Raghib

2 Months Ago

Thank you for the review .
You write such scary vivid poems. This one is worrisome. It's like a frustrated plea to death. I read your comments with Najam, I was also going to ask if something was wrong. All in all, I understand how excrutiating boring lectures can be. I think you write really well.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Raghib

2 Months Ago

Thank you for appreciating my style . I dont understand why do i not get many reviews . Everybody sa.. read more
Whoa, firstly I want to ask you, are you fine?
There is so much depth in your words, they are fire raging through your pen. Very strong write. But, don't do any such thing in real because some words are good in expression only.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Najam Us Saher

2 Months Ago

You're welcome. 😊
Najam Us Saher

2 Months Ago

Also, I like how your mind worked in a classroom, might have been preoccupied by some memories, I st.. read more
Raghib

2 Months Ago

I am honored that my poem has such a great impact on someone

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Added on November 29, 2017
Last Updated on November 29, 2017

Author

Raghib
Raghib

India



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