Naturally

Naturally

A Poem by Livana Lowell
"

my first haiku!

"
I kissed an apple
who was also a woman
like bees kiss a rose

© 2016 Livana Lowell



Author's Note

Livana Lowell
Sooo, what do you think? All criticisms and comments are welcome!

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FIN
Simple and sweet. I like this one.

"Like bees kiss a rose."

Very tender and passionate imagery.

The color atop the words also brings more liveliness into the piece.

Also, comparing an apple to a woman (although there are some sour apples: I'll take the red coding to portray a "Red Delicious," which are sweet; and not sour) was a *sweet* use of words. Further strengthening the gentleness of the write.

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Livana Lowell

10 Months Ago

nah, you're right. I'm just humoring you. Actually apple is also associated with symbolism for somet.. read more
FIN

10 Months Ago

Ah yes, the sinful fruit, forgot about that one in biblical terms! (:
FIN

10 Months Ago

Makes this kiss even more desirable



Reviews

This Haiku has just inspired me:

Inspiration

"As Bees to Roses
An Apple did I too Kiss
For She, Soft and Bliss!"

Posted 10 Months Ago


Livana Lowell

10 Months Ago

lol cool. Sounds good.
A kiss is never just a kiss. I liked the poem. Left the reader with something to think about. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 10 Months Ago


suggesting any word changes my mind perceives would be unfair... might I suggest the final line could add more impact with a little more thought?

I did understand the depth and "feeling" within your thought and the lines flowed well.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Livana Lowell

10 Months Ago

you don't like the last line?
Chris

10 Months Ago

It is not for ME to like or dislike - it is for you to be "good" with the strength of your thought a.. read more
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FIN
Simple and sweet. I like this one.

"Like bees kiss a rose."

Very tender and passionate imagery.

The color atop the words also brings more liveliness into the piece.

Also, comparing an apple to a woman (although there are some sour apples: I'll take the red coding to portray a "Red Delicious," which are sweet; and not sour) was a *sweet* use of words. Further strengthening the gentleness of the write.

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Livana Lowell

10 Months Ago

nah, you're right. I'm just humoring you. Actually apple is also associated with symbolism for somet.. read more
FIN

10 Months Ago

Ah yes, the sinful fruit, forgot about that one in biblical terms! (:
FIN

10 Months Ago

Makes this kiss even more desirable

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280 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Added on December 21, 2016
Last Updated on December 24, 2016
Tags: haiku, writing, gay/lesbian, bisexuality

Author

Livana Lowell
Livana Lowell

Huntsville, TX



About
Sooo, hello guys! Not much to say about me. I've been a writer since I was in kindergarten. I used to write stories about dinosaurs surviving the meteor (my favorites ones usually lived) because I had.. more..

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