I love him more than ramen

I love him more than ramen

A Story by That_Girl
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Just a crap-load of crap that I felt like saying. Warning: Long and boring. :)

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Do you remember when you were eight years old and stepped in a semi-freshly discarded wad of chewed up gum? It frustrated you to no end and detangling it from the bottom of your shoe wasn’t the most appealing activity, and in the end, there were still small traces of sticky goo stuck in the small treads. They stayed with those shoes probably until you got a new pair, a pair that would no doubt endure the exact same trial. As gross as it may sound, the small piece of gum that never wore off became a part of your shoe and eventually, a part of you as well.

 

I remember those shoes much like I remember the men I have loved. I didn’t really want them around at first, because they were annoying and wasted my time (in a good way, I swear). But like most men are, they were both persistent as hell and eventually became a part of my everyday life as well as me as a human being. The first was new and fresh but after several years, I had to throw him away because he just didn’t fit anymore. It was time for something more comfortable that I could keep longer. And he, my new pair, wasn’t hard to find. It was almost like that moment in Cinderella when the weird short guy (forgive me, it has been a very, very long time) slid the glass slipper onto her foot and everyone gasped. I gasped. Because really, when is it EVER that easy?

 

He was a different flavor of gum, still gum but he left a better taste in my mouth and this time, I really wanted it. He was never a hindrance but instead, something I needed with me. And then the cravings started, talking wasn’t enough and I desperately wanted more. But 3,000 miles worth of distance isn’t conducive to a physical relationship (I promise to keep this PG-13). So, at that point, completely over my first pair of gummy (word?) shoes, I dove into something that I felt was a better fit for me. And he was, in almost every way possible.

 

But nothing lasts forever and that’s just the way it is; you fall in love, you explore every aspect of another person and you live. There is a time though, when you come to a point where you either have to jump the giant hurdle or walk away. I tried to jump and fell flat on my a*s. Because you just can’t get over something that continues to grow and work against you. So I had to stand back up, walk to the side and as my best friend would say, “lick my wounds”. And man were those some effing painful wounds. Just like all of the crappy, overdone poems say, I truly felt like my chest was being crushed and I was breaking. I knew that I was madly in love with him but I don’t think I realized the degree of affection and admiration I held for him until after it started to hurt. He was just as devoted and that made it even worse.

 

So, we stopped talking and left things to settle on their own. Everyone tells you to move on and maybe you meet someone and think they could be that someone you could “move on” with; a new pair of shoes, so to speak. They’re great and if you weren’t so damn hung up on the previous relationship, it could be a new start. But new isn’t always exciting and new isn’t always what you want. A fresh, clean slate won’t have your bleeding heart on it and that’s the problem. As cheesy as this sounds, if your heart isn’t able to be on that fresh slate, if it’s still bleeding on the old one, it cannot be sewn back together and kissed better. Mine is still raw and bloody in his hands and as much as I’d love to be able to say I’m over it and ready to start something with someone else, I’m not. My overactive mind is always thinking of him because he had an incredible impact on my life. For the first time in a very long time, I felt happy. Sure, as it always is, my life was still a bit of a roller coaster, but I felt like I could handle it and the spiders in the walls didn’t make me anxious. I didn’t think of the small things that normally had me panicking. I was relaxed and felt at home, another first for me.

 

While I know he’ll never read this, I don’t need him to. I’m confident in saying that he knew how much I loved him and how much I still do. And I know he felt the same way. Therefore, it will all be OK in the end. No matter what happens to either of us, knowing that we had an amazing run and (sappy alert) made each other happy is enough. We’ll both move on in time and be content.

 

I loved him more than I ever have another man. I loved him more than ramen. 


© 2013 That_Girl



Author's Note

That_Girl
Eh. I feel better.

My Review

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Featured Review

This is an amazing and enjoyable piece to read. It starts with a bang with the shoes metaphor, and the whole story seems realistic, unlike other fabricated ones. It doesnt seem cheesy at all, and it expresses feeling in a wonderful way. I really liked this:-):-):-D.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

That_Girl

4 Years Ago

Thank you very much. :)



Reviews

Well.. This is amazing! I liked the metaphor you used.. I can relate to that part.. Some relationships do seem clingy after a while.. Good job..

Posted 10 Months Ago


I can sense this was something you needed to get out. Good job.

Posted 1 Year Ago


This is.. Beautiful. It's not long or boring at all. You have a gift with words. I loved the shoes metaphor and next time, I look at my feet when I'm out in the street, I'll remember your wisdom.

Posted 3 Years Ago


I don't think that I will ever look at a pair of shoes the same! We happen to have this in common. I have never had a relationship that has lasted more than six years. Yes, I too outgrew them and they didn't have that new shoe excitement anymore. So finally I decided to take a break from shoe shopping for a while in hopes that I will be able to resole my next pair. Grat metaphorical story!

Posted 3 Years Ago


Great work my friend your spirit shines in each word you wrote...simply amazing

Posted 3 Years Ago


Hahaha Can't believe I'm RAILED IN abt shoes... Seriously!! I hate shoes!! Hmm not everybody is like that I may have ex gfs and ex friends but I can't write them off nor forget everyone I get in contact with I fall in love with and they all become a daily part of my life even enemies I still hate and they still enemies at the end of the day lol. All and all well done truthful and respectful nice to meet you :) mis. Shoes lol

Posted 3 Years Ago


Faaantastic read!! Superb writer as always. Love how you incorporated the gum stuck shoe to start this off to exemplify what the story is about. It seems you really loved this guy. It's a shame when great things end up not working out. Thank for the read.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Nice to see you back if only a little bit. I've missed you. As for this piece, wow, you wore your heart on the sleeve here. I know you were really passionate about him and I'm so sorry it didn't work out.

Take care my friend.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Somehow, I find my treads full of gum as well...
You are the most honest writer I have read.
You know what I think...

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's been a while since I've read you...I forgot how much I used to love it. Not long and boring at all...I hung on every word. xoxo

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 16, 2013
Last Updated on May 16, 2013

Author

That_Girl
That_Girl

NY



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I'm back... sort of. I have a FT job now (I know, she finally acts like an adult) and somewhat of a social life. This site sucked me in, never again. :p Hit me up. more..


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