I can See You In Hell

This poem I wrote and it was to my ex boyfriend but I didn't give to him as I just didn't have the guts at the time. But I wished I did

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to speak to you hoping you would listen
I have noticed every day we grow further and further apart

You're like something that keeps running away
From me to another place to hide
When you look at me straight in the eye your face tells me,
A long time ago I should have died

Never a smile anymore
Just a face full of hate
Your friends are stuck up
And say look at the state

I still want to love you
But you regret liking me
When you stare at your friends
It makes me wonder what you really see

I see losers and idiots
I hate you with them
I try to close my eyes
And picture the future in my mind
I hope to see black water spinning in a whirl
Going down the plug hole
To say all the negativity has gone out of my life

If we were to die
I would go to heaven
And you would be trapped in hell
With your friends I will watch you burn
For this to happen
You all must have been on the devils spell

I've helped you and now for the last time
I will not climb a mountain to rescue you
Knowing you will throw me back to the bottum
Relying on somebody else
And for such a crime how can I forgive

These feelings I never wanted to feel about you
There are so negative how can you not blame yourself

You need help desperately
Hopefully it will make you realise
You were in the wrong
And for that you deserve to rot in hell
To say I'm wrong
I would think you are a hypocrite

I am glad I am not in your shoes
I will never gang up on anyone with such a rage
Like the way you did to me

Reviews

[Abdul Aziz]

This is a poem written with a lot of angst, and it clearly shows in your words.
There's good imagery in the poem, and words written with ire. The poem conveys what you want to say very lucidly. Rage and anger are a part of us, and I don't know if you should have shown him this poem, but I do acknowledge that it would have been a very bitter experience writing this.
Well done!

[Paul Okeke]

good one with hatred...and life choices.....good one...Hell is a bad place to be....

[The Water Queen]

This shows how you feel towards that past relationship. Great poem

[PoppySilver]

Pure emotion here love!
Powerful!
Wow! An excellent portrayal of bittersweet!
xx

[Dinesh Sairam]

Hmm.. I know, I know how it feels. I don't, or maybe I never will show anger in my poems (Sadness maybe); I was thinking anger could never make up a beautiful poem. But you've broken by belief right now.. with this piece. I wish you could have told him in the face.. But I know you can't. Keep writing.

[Coyote Poetry]

A lot of anger and no kindness for this person you wrote about in this poem. I like the strong statements and story in your words. Sometime anger can increase the pain. Better to leave bad memories in the dust behind you. A outstanding poem. thank you.
Coyote

[SamBug]

Very well done!!!

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

Yes this poem has a lot of angst in it,a lot of raw emotions in it..

[SimplyDisastrous]

I must admit, though it's not my favorite piece of yours, it's very strong. It has a lot of potential. The bitterness in this is well written and it's very straightforward. You let the person who hurt you know that you wont put up with their crap anymore and you set them straight. No, Like Hell they'll bother you anymore. Good job.

[Devons]

Nice varying imagery sprinkled within this poem. It puts across a strong point of view on the part of the hurt victim, and is clearly expressed. Nice bit of anger thrown in the mix which spiced it up a bit.

A few of the lines could do with being tailored to suit the overall scheme and scan in some places but taken overall this is already a poem with strength.