With Six Months to Live

With Six Months to Live

A Chapter by Debbie Barry
"

An essay about choices and priorities. Written for PSY 202: Adult Development and Life Assessment.

"

With Six Months to Live


October 15, 2009


 

If I knew that I was going to die in six months, my primary concern would be my two sons.  I would spend every possible minute with them, building as many strong, happy memories for them as possible.  I would teach them things they have been asking me to teach them, such as cooking and sewing, and I would take them to the zoo, to the science museum, and to pretty much anywhere they wanted to go, as often as possible.  I would spend lots of time reading books to them and playing their favorite board and card games with them.  Most importantly, I would tell them, and Pat, how much I love them all as often as possible, and tell them how proud I am of them, and how much I believe it them.

I would spend the time when the boys were in school securing their future.  I would move up our wedding so that Pat would have a stronger legal claim to raise the boys.  I would push to settle the custody issues with my ex-husband so that Lewis would not get custody of the boys once I was gone.  I would write my will, giving Pat and my mother joint custody of my sons, and I would verify with CitiCorp that my sons would eventually receive my share of the family trust when my father died.

I would spend any unaccounted-for time printing and binding two copies of the book of memories that I wrote over the last ten years, and that is waiting on my computer, so that my sons would each get a copy.  I would gather all of my remaining artwork and photos and give them, along with my grandmother's pearls and our mementos box, to Pat, so that he would already have control of those things and could preserve them for the boys without having to worry about possible difficulties in probate.

I would prepare a third copy of my memories book, with special annotations, and give all three copies to Pat so he could give the first two copies to my sons and the annotated copy to my mother.  That would accomplish not only sharing my memories, but also clearing my conscience by providing my mother with complete explanations of certain facets of my life that I have kept from her up to now, and by providing my children less explicit accounts of those same events.  I would also take the precaution of leaving Pat a letter so that he would know to give the annotated copy of the book to my sister, Patty, if my mother was not alive or was not mentally capable of receiving the book, and to save it until my sons were adults and give it to them if neither my mom nor my sister could receive it.

I would write love letters and apology letters to several dozen people from my past for a range of unfinished issues, and leave the letters with Pat, to be delivered after I was gone.

I would not try to gather a lot of material goods, to travel to exotic locations, or to binge on food, alcohol, or drugs, as I have heard others say they would do in such a circumstance.  None of these things is truly important to me.  I would continue taking my medications so as not to reduce my time any more than it was already reduced.

I feel secure in my relationship with God, and with the condition of my soul.  With the letters I mentioned, my conscience would be clear on any remaining concerns, and I would be prepared to move on.




© 2017 Debbie Barry



Author's Note

Debbie Barry
Initial reactions and constructive criticism welcome.

My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Everyone has considered their death and its immediate and lingering effects. It might ease many a troubled or fearful soul to take the steps you describe, revising and making changes as life brings them. I have often thought of writing my own obituary. I am more than my preceded and surviving relatives, or the clubs/organizations I participated in. I would personally address certain individuals (my son, certain friends) in my obituary so that all may know the depth of my love for them and how they impacted my life. Of course, doing this without writing a novella is the challenge...

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Debbie Barry

1 Week Ago

I've considered writing my own obituary, too, especially in recent years, when doctors have asked ab.. read more



Reviews

Everyone has considered their death and its immediate and lingering effects. It might ease many a troubled or fearful soul to take the steps you describe, revising and making changes as life brings them. I have often thought of writing my own obituary. I am more than my preceded and surviving relatives, or the clubs/organizations I participated in. I would personally address certain individuals (my son, certain friends) in my obituary so that all may know the depth of my love for them and how they impacted my life. Of course, doing this without writing a novella is the challenge...

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Debbie Barry

1 Week Ago

I've considered writing my own obituary, too, especially in recent years, when doctors have asked ab.. read more

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

38 Views
1 Review
Added on November 10, 2017
Last Updated on November 10, 2017
Tags: essay, psycology, choices, priorities, six months to live, imminent death

A Journey through My College Papers


Author

Debbie Barry
Debbie Barry

Clarkston, MI



About
I live with my husband in southeastern Michigan with our two cats, Mister and Goblin. We enjoy exploring history through French and Indian War re-enactment and through medieval re-enactment in the So.. more..

Writing