Rage

Rage

A Poem by Richard Layne

Rage



one comment
She said

one look
She gave

one memory
She provoked

One second later
And

My knuckles are bloodied

My blood smeared across the plaster

My unforgiveness plastered across my face

My face unclenches
And sight returns

You crying behind a locked door
You speeding away in the dark
You with a knife at my sleeping throat
You with a smile and a hug

And I’m left with
Reality

The dull thud of
spent anger

And

The gnaw of regret
and time misspent.




© 2013 Richard Layne



Author's Note

Richard Layne
Thanks for your constructive criticism earlier on this piece. I gutted the beginning and started over. Led me down a darker path. Please comment.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Returned as asked... thinking on the read this time.

You achieved the cool, collected after-saying of what took place. Comment, look, provoked memory ...measured words but without blinding heat... I know WHAT you are saying and the measure of how, hint of cause... unthinkingly cracking or holing sheetrock and a damaged hand but it still didn't have me feel that level of anger. Perhaps more active wording? Some part of the cause exposed?



Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Powerful words and thoughts took the reader to sad and dangerous place. Realistic words and thoughts made the reader understand the journey and ending in your words. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 2 Months Ago


Richard Layne

2 Months Ago

thank you coyote
Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

You are welcome Richard.
A very wise and inspiring write, I was hooked from the start...well penned

Posted 3 Years Ago


a reread after major alterations... I understood the after and knew where you had been.

A better than fair depiction of after. The flow went into past tense and you weren't angry now.

Posted 4 Years Ago


This is fantastic and raw, you captured this moment perfectly!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Returned as asked... thinking on the read this time.

You achieved the cool, collected after-saying of what took place. Comment, look, provoked memory ...measured words but without blinding heat... I know WHAT you are saying and the measure of how, hint of cause... unthinkingly cracking or holing sheetrock and a damaged hand but it still didn't have me feel that level of anger. Perhaps more active wording? Some part of the cause exposed?



Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I come back to see this wonderful poem. bravo on a good work , sir...:)

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"And I’m left with

Reality

The dull thud

Of spent anger

And

The gnaw of regret

And time misspent."
A very nice write. The ending was outstanding...:)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I read the rage...but didn't FEEL the rage...

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this !

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Years Ago



First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

339 Views
12 Reviews
Rating
Added on January 9, 2012
Last Updated on August 4, 2013

Author

Richard Layne
Richard Layne

UT



About
I got married, had 2 awesome kids, joined a big corporation, and stopped writing. 15 years later, I want that piece of me back. more..

Writing
Kayak Kayak

A Poem by Richard Layne



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


The Hangman The Hangman

A Poem by s y e