Godsfound

Godsfound

A Poem by Hailey Juliet
"

68.3607° N, 133.7230° W

"
say we starve the bleating lamb
or the stray-grey ewe 
lost in the whip 
of flakes upon freckles
in the fifty below
hazy glow that steeple makes
while I stargaze at you 
beneath red quilted sheets, god damn

say we steal the nominal urbanite
away from the town
where faults forget feelings
and feelings beget frowns
face down in the pillow-white snow
I know i'm only a memory
of whatever used to be 
down
unapologetic and Lord knows, found

and say down was the up
of the first autumn-tide
and the first church of fifth street 
and the numb in my feet 
tapping toes tapping soft
in the old church loft
while the bell tolls a tired tune
and old pews creak a chorus
oft
 


© 2018 Hailey Juliet



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Oooooh, the English nerd in me is in love with all your alliteration in this piece! Brilliant! I love it! I love the rhythm and pace, and its lyrical inclination to move as I read...

I particularly picked up on the kicking-self quips, perhaps regretful/painful/embarassed/insecure in the the first stanza..

It gives way to more impetuous whimsy and freedom in the second stanza, but still comes back to some pangs of regret... and yet pride and fulfillment at what has transpired.. I think this brings to life the ever-confusing tango of emotions we go through where we second-guess ourselves, our heart, our actions, we take a risk, we feel regret or great freedom in it... but we own it, and it becomes a part of us..

And in the end, "down is up" meaning everyone is following along and worshiping the sorrow and melancholy and it's at once okay, to embrace who you are in the hidden places.

At least that's my takeaway as I read through, though it is obvious with how sweeping and beautiful your metaphors are, that one might take away something new each time this is read...

Definitely worth shelving for later perusal...

Well done again!

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


Alexa Apothic Red

3 Weeks Ago

*NOT, I mean *NOT screaming of proof-readin comments....
Alexa Apothic Red

3 Weeks Ago

*proof-reading! Ugh! Okay, I'm done... way too much typing today lol!
Hailey Juliet

3 Weeks Ago

haha, it's all good:P thanks again!
Brilliant & elusive message! I'm in awe of the way you do wordplay with sounds & alliteration & words crafted by the way they sound, as much as by what the words can mean. Your imagery is so original, yet these unexpected symbols ring true for our journey thru life. I love the mechanics of starting every stanza with: "Say we . . . " -- this is such a neat way to spark the reader's imagination while reading (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


Hailey Juliet

3 Weeks Ago

Margie, thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave such a complimentary review!
You painted a lonely picture with your words. I liked how you made the reader feel and understand your thoughts. You led the reader to a honest ending. Thank you Hailey for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


I love this. It has so many well-presented emotions, and it has a great sense of journey/reflection.

Posted 4 Weeks Ago


Hailey Juliet

4 Weeks Ago

Thank you:)
I have to say on first reading it reminded me of Ezra Pound. Maybe it was the Goddamn part. It has a cadence I can't quite put my finger on, but I enjoyed it never the less. Good work. CD

Posted 4 Weeks Ago


Hailey Juliet

4 Weeks Ago

Thank you:) Ezra Pound is a writer I am aware of, though I have not read much of his work, to my re.. read more
CD Campbell

4 Weeks Ago

Then I think you should acquaint yourself with his work. He is one of the pioneers of free verse po.. read more
Hailey Juliet

4 Weeks Ago

Am doing so at this very moment, thanks:)
Hailey, this is a beautiful, reflective piece. So well crafted, and obviously from a thoughtful mind, perhaps on a path of self rediscovery. It's also rich with deep emotion, almost pleas or cries of memories.

I'm surprised others have not reviewed this piece. It's among the best I've read on here, as your previous works. I look forward to reading even more.



Posted 4 Weeks Ago


Hailey Juliet

4 Weeks Ago

Thank you Robert, for taking the time again to read and leave such a generous review. I am flattere.. read more

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6 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on January 21, 2018
Last Updated on January 24, 2018

Author

Hailey Juliet
Hailey Juliet

Canada



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