Addiction

Addiction

A Poem by bella
"

It's just a little poem I wrote for a grade but I still like it

"
I watched them all go towards the water
But for whatever reason I went towards the fire
It called me with a sweet melody of promises and warmth
I thought I was the only one
But when the road ended it was all a trap
I found myself surrounded by people who told me the flame burning my soul had to be put out
That I was wrong to follow the fire when water fueled my body
I was surrounded by others who hummed the same tune
A different fire a different color flame
They put out our fires, deafened us to the music, and washed the ashes from our eyes
And the water sparkled so, and the cool calm blues beckoned me this time








© 2017 bella



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Reviews

A poetic metaphor, just masterfully done, except you make it look simple. One of the best I've read on here so far. My inner grammar Nazi tells me towards should be toward, but I may be incorrect.

Posted 2 Months Ago


bella

2 Months Ago

Haha thank you!
An exquisite & creative way to show the lesson about following our fire, our passion, even when people around us try to snuff it out. Excellent little allegory packed with imagery and interesting conflict set up between the forces of fire & water (thought-provoking). You've used universal symbols to create an original message!

Posted 2 Months Ago


bella

2 Months Ago

Thank you!
There's A LOT going on here, which I like.
It opens up with fire, water and a path, then ends with water putting out fires, and eyes turned to ashes.

This is really awesome, and I'm not one to throw about compliments willy nilly lol

Elemental, but it makes me want to know how the person becomes...fire, water

rebellious, resigned...

Posted 2 Months Ago


bella

2 Months Ago

Well thank you, can't have anything getting thrown around all willy nilly now haha
219335_One-Stop Publishing: free print & ebook publishing
Very nice metaphors in this. Love the word choice.

Posted 2 Months Ago


I liked the poem.
"They put out our fires, deafened us to the music, and washed the ashes from our eyes
And the water sparkled so, and the cool calm blues beckoned me this time"
The above lines. Sad ending for many. I believe wise people hold tightly to the things they love. Powerful and worthwhile poetry dear Bella.
Coyote



Posted 4 Months Ago


Progressively Enlightening.

Watch the extended sentences.

Good Read

Matthew

Posted 5 Months Ago


bella

5 Months Ago

thank you!

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Added on May 18, 2017
Last Updated on May 18, 2017

Author

bella
bella

MA



About
I'm really just trying to gain confidence as a poet and hopefully get better. I have a lot to say unfortunately. Just a Jewish girl trying to help people and writing poetry along the way. more..

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