Game over

Game over

A Poem by Phoebe Woode
"

this is just a draft

"

   Game over
I can’t help but blame myself for the ocean of silence between us.

But,It is my fault.

Isn’t it?

It feels like our souls are miles away from each other,

yet, we are here present

standing on the same piece of earth.

I want to hear the bare truth.

Even if it’s just this once.

Let's just stop pretending that the stars have a greater influence on our lives,

than that we have ourselves.

And face each other.


I tried to resurrect the past and remember

what I have done, but I could not.

Until one day I could and it felt like a vivid nightmare.


It was a moment you were broken.

You held my wrist

And asked me to stay.

With you.

You needed me,

I was terrified

possessed by my own fear.

Our hearts were leaving the station of  friendship

to a place that it's destination I did not know.


You were so close, maybe too close.

The adrenaline in my blood was thick like poison.

Every cell in my body was beating.

Your eyes were awaiting for a response.

And then,

I pulled my hand away from yours,

I did not know I possessed the power of letting go.

It felt unnatural,

But I did it anyway.

I walked away.

Leaving you still.

Then I lost you.

© 2016 Phoebe Woode



Author's Note

Phoebe Woode
feel free to respond.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

This actually got me scared for a second because it was not only beautiful but it was vivid and relatable. There was a moment in my life when I was the guy tell her not to let go, and for the life of me I could never figure out why she wanted to leave me. I never found out, but having read this made me understand that there's something instinctual in actions such as these. There'll be a point when we know that we can't be in that position anymore. I think you captured that very well. It leaves the reader thinking about human nature itself and it helps us question our own actions and reasons.

To sum it all up into a few words, I would describe this piece as "haunting", "provoking", and "visceral". I think more work should be done in the external structure of the piece, but it was a great piece internally.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phoebe Woode

1 Year Ago

Thanks, Renzo,
I really appreciate your response.
After that incident, things got real.. read more



Reviews

The sense of hurt and the never ending perplexity of life is wonderfully depicted in this poem. Good job

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phoebe Woode

1 Year Ago

thank you so much :)
This actually got me scared for a second because it was not only beautiful but it was vivid and relatable. There was a moment in my life when I was the guy tell her not to let go, and for the life of me I could never figure out why she wanted to leave me. I never found out, but having read this made me understand that there's something instinctual in actions such as these. There'll be a point when we know that we can't be in that position anymore. I think you captured that very well. It leaves the reader thinking about human nature itself and it helps us question our own actions and reasons.

To sum it all up into a few words, I would describe this piece as "haunting", "provoking", and "visceral". I think more work should be done in the external structure of the piece, but it was a great piece internally.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phoebe Woode

1 Year Ago

Thanks, Renzo,
I really appreciate your response.
After that incident, things got real.. read more
How one simple act of ours can change the course of our lives is truly astounding.
But while reading this poem, I felt that you did the right thing. Maybe things would have changed very quickly and you wet not ready for it.
There is always time to steer the boat of your life to calmer waters.
Well written

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phoebe Woode

1 Year Ago

I am glad you responded!

Before your response, I wanted to edit this and make the emo.. read more
Wow love this line The adrenaline in my blood was thick like poison.
And Every cell in my body was beating

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phoebe Woode

1 Year Ago

I am glad you liked it ! :)
Pink Pastel

1 Year Ago

Yes very much*-*
It perfectly describes moments I too have felt when the distance was great. When I couldn't pinpoint why, until it came back in a flash. It is so painful to realize that a simple action can change the course of a relationship. I don't know whether you really wanted to let go, but your body was certainly telegraphing something to you . . . Still, a sad and poignant ending, or a freeing one? I'm not sure. Beautiful, honest and real. You might relate to a story I wrote title "Capsized". Thank you for a beautiful read.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phoebe Woode

1 Year Ago

Thanks for this review. I will edit the ending to make the emotion a bit more clear.
And I wi.. read more
The title is very interesting and after reading this I can definitely say that it is perfect... Emotional piece of work with a touching feel in it that holds the reader, and describes a story of two hearts which are apart from each other... Excellently penned new frnd...

Sincerely
Dhiman

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Inject Positivity

1 Year Ago

And for the construction, I think it was very well done...
Phoebe Woode

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much for the response Dhiman !
This is a new poem that I wrote, and I am happy .. read more
Such a powerful and sad story this is. It is well written with vivid imagery for the reader. ~Sharon

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phoebe Woode

1 Year Ago

Thanks for the response, I am glad that it was enjoyable.

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

321 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Added on July 28, 2016
Last Updated on July 28, 2016


Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..