Gunmetal Strokes

Gunmetal Strokes

A Poem by Asante

I fight melancholia.

I've been offered
a palette in remedies:
a ball-point pen, a notebook, lighter fluid.
I took the note I babbled
in Arabic, burnt through it.
I'm aching in the joints
and jointly aging away from bliss.
Isn't it easier
being beaten about the wind?
I breathe in sativa,
breathing sativa,
I'm beaten within--
Weakening, withering
little flowers around me when,
I'm bent and I'm ash, I'm cracked
window and going left;
I'm out on the ledge, I'm toeing over,
might overstep.

I feel it.

© 2017 Asante



Author's Note

Asante
Late-nite thoughts woven together.

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Featured Review

I know there's a path woven into this piece somewhere, but I don't know if I'm in the right frame of mind to find it. This piece makes me think of life - how it's heavy and wears us down, both mentally and physically. There are welcome releases from it - self medication that distracts us from having to look at out problems, our pain, straight on. Perhaps about finding the right dosage to get us through, but not burn us out. But, while we're looking for that beautiful middle ground, some nirvana-saving-grace, we can be driven into the darker recesses of our minds, and of life, and have to go right up to the edge. In those hard pressed moments, perhaps certain thoughts do get entertained.

But, like I said, I don't entirely think I'm in the frame of mind to find the connections. It is a good piece, though. I like the title, "Gunmetal Strokes," it's very...avant-garde, I think is the phrase. Very nice.

Posted 2 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Hey, I appreciate the level of detail that you went into! Thank you for reading this, too.
<.. read more
BThomvanWart

1 Month Ago

Hmmm...Perhaps now that your work has had some time to settle into my thoughts, I think I feel simil.. read more
Asante

1 Month Ago

That's one hell of an analysis. I won't say you were deeper into the ballpark per se, but I may valu.. read more



Reviews

Wow. This is so powerful, so beautiful and sad. As a poem it just works, every line is so rhythmic and simple and gets you right where it hurts. One of the best I read in a while.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

That's one helluva compliment. I'm glad that this swept you up the way that it did. Thank you so muc.. read more
Wow! Very unique and intriguing. Both do to the fact that it was written on the right hand side of the page and the overall tone and mood are quite eye catching and interesting. I like the lines 'I'm bent and I'm ash, I'm cracked", they add a beautiful sense of intrigue. Also I love the ending. Beautifully done!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Thank you, Elizabeth. I'm glad you took notice of the right-side alignment. I like to play with form.. read more
very unique and beautiful style. I enjoyed re-reading this several times.

Nicely done!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Thank you. I'm glad that this garnered multiple reads!
This is wonderful writing. The sativa is sometimes able to conjure the museum for us. I liked this a great deal.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nipplegrinder

1 Month Ago

*conjure The MUSE!*
Damned autocorrect.
Asante

1 Month Ago

Autocorrect: The Icebreaker of Modern Life.

Thanks, man! I appreciate your thoughts o.. read more
"I'm bent and I'm ash, I'm cracked
window and going left;"

Awesome lines.

The pace of this poem captures the ennui and restlessness of melancholy, how the mind wanders searching but finds nothingness.



Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Thanks a lot, Alessander. You articulated those feelings greatly in a single line. Respect.
Keep smoking weeds, it'll keep you on the ledge.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Will do. ;)
T K Little

1 Month Ago

Indica at night, Sativa during the day... you won't go wrong.
I think of all the times I have tried to voice melancholy to myself and they come nowhere close to this...amazing...your poetry rips the heart out at times and a great Poet will always do that :)

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

That's powerful to me- thank you the most, Pop. :) I appreciate ya.
Intense emotions are reflected from your compositions. I love reading your beautiful work :) Thanks a lot for beautiful compositions to read. :)

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Thank you, Amrita!
There are times when we realize we just gotta trudge along at the path of life, and yeah it wears us down but somehow I feel it strengthens us too in a way at the end...
fighting melancholia ain't half easy, it turns you into a whole another person, I'd say...
I do feel this write, in a way relate too. The second half gave me a feeling that you wrote it with a beat going on in your head. Or maybe it's just me ;p either way, I love the effect it creates.
Excellently penned, Asante :)

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Wise words from the modern-day prophet herself. :)
That fight may never end reach a natural c.. read more
Closed

1 Month Ago

Haha modern day prophet? Lol thanks 😊
I'm glad I was able to catch the beat here ;) alway.. read more
A bit unusual, as though these thoughts strung together we're the ramblings of a late night visit from Maryjane. Just the sort of thing to make some of us older types remember the daze.
I like it Asante.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

You're a wizard, Ted. That was the setting, to a T.
I'm glad you enjoyed, brother. In all of .. read more

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1897 Views
11 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on November 21, 2017
Last Updated on November 21, 2017
Tags: poetry, heart, mind, thoughts, feelings, depression, verse

Author

Asante
Asante

NY



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