Hospice Failure

Hospice Failure

A Poem by Asante

The laughter danced itself, haphazardly,
into oblivion by the string of a cough or two;
you were strong. I made you laugh
when nothing did--

Now the walls have grown a bunch of eyes
to skin you with
and witches turn up in shadowy halls
with nothing but a voice, begging you
with kindness, inviting me to the end of things.

They're the chimney smoke 
orchestrating your nightly, lonely blues, 
sky, do 
cough up a daisy, might she 
burn a fire through. Wish light would shine anew.

Noises matter more when I 
can't look you in the eye, and
your snores are creaking cries 
for the stress in you to cease,

I could crease the skin of time but 
never bring its mind to change,
never bend a waveno more 
than a needle out in space, worth about a day.

We drop like flies
and we cover the carpet; recover the
art of beating heart
only when eaten out of it.

Show me underneath a microscope
the skinny line between
analytics and paranoia; Siberia
within and the tip of the tongue.

Candles for you when you eject,
reject the will to breathe, beat
the urge to fight the protest.
I'll stand down--I'll go away for good.

© 2017 Asante



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Featured Review

So, I'm going to look at this again in a few days. Some things a friend is going through definitely reflects parts of this piece, so I'm just constantly thinking of those things, y'know? But, from what I gather, it's intriguing. Hospice is always a difficult situation, and to have failure involved in this is making things worse. Yet, does this failure remain with those who work in the field, or the sense of failure we feel when those we care about are in hospice? And it's quite interesting that there's a stanza about time - I think we all want more time with those who're passed, always wanting more time, just minutes or an hour. Otherwise, I'll complete the review in a few days.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

You pose genuine, legitimate, and beautiful questions and thoughts on the topic all at once in relat.. read more



Reviews

So, I'm going to look at this again in a few days. Some things a friend is going through definitely reflects parts of this piece, so I'm just constantly thinking of those things, y'know? But, from what I gather, it's intriguing. Hospice is always a difficult situation, and to have failure involved in this is making things worse. Yet, does this failure remain with those who work in the field, or the sense of failure we feel when those we care about are in hospice? And it's quite interesting that there's a stanza about time - I think we all want more time with those who're passed, always wanting more time, just minutes or an hour. Otherwise, I'll complete the review in a few days.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

You pose genuine, legitimate, and beautiful questions and thoughts on the topic all at once in relat.. read more
I am so addicted to your compositions.You amazingly portrait the emotions and make it more lively :)

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Thank you, Amrita. :)
This...HAS to have come from inside a personal experience
you have captured the hollow narrowing tunnel...of it.
grappling fleeting shared moments...
the haunting images
..in all sincerity...this hit me deeply
the last stanza did me in
your writing is amazing

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

A truly beautiful review.
Thank you the most!
Incredibly deep and powerful. I had a richer takeaway after a second read. Last line is potent, and a great end. Nice work!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Thank you, Robert! That second read is usually key!
The title says a lot, Asante, and what follows is an apt description of what it's like to deal with that situation. That being said, there are a couple of spots that I found a bit confusing.

"you were strong. I made you laugh
when nothing did--you, for nothing."

Not sure exactly what the 'you, for nothing' is doing there. All in all though it is good. I like it.

Ted

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Thanks a lot for highlighting said area, Ted. I appreciate that greatly. May play around with that p.. read more
'you were strong. I made you laugh
when nothing did--you, for nothing.'

There are many powerful lines in this write but somehow, the above stay with me, even reverberated through out when I was reading your poem, perhaps because of the sentimentality it conveys.
The last line convey a certain selflessness, or at least that's how I read it...
Powerful piece indeed.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Excellent takeaways, Yumna. Thanks, Doc. x
Closed

1 Month Ago

You're welcome, Asante. A pleasure always x
Gorgeous flow, the broken lines have great impact and brilliantly unexpected but apt words and imagery. Powerful stuff.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Such excellent takeaways on your part, and I'm glad to know that this piece packed the necessary pun.. read more
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LR
I was very much lost in my own reading pattern. It made me sort of protest while i was reading this. I love it!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

Ah, that's a beautiful thought in my mind, LR. Genuinely. Thank you for reading this, as well as you.. read more
I really like your form. I may have said that before, but you actually attempt to convey a meaning that is specific to you through your writings. Unlike a lot of writers I read here. You are talented.

"Show me underneath a microscope
the skinny line between
analytics and paranoia; Siberia
within and the tip of the tongue."

That was my favorite stanza.


Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante

1 Month Ago

The entire top portion of your comment is what I aim for: authenticity. I'm glad to know that you ap.. read more

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Added on November 30, 2017
Last Updated on December 4, 2017
Tags: poetry, heart, mind, thoughts, feelings, depression, verse

Author

Asante
Asante

NY



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