Mind Games

Mind Games

A Poem by RiverRei

Message from the dead,
just strange at first.
Ignore the text,
push the fear away.

Another message,
unease is piqued.
Morbid curiosity,
a response is made.

The dead speaks.
Threatening exposure,
secrets unraveled,
resulting in death.

Games are played,
minds are scrambled.
Fear is unmanageable.
Friends die.

The game continues,
one falls,
and another.
Only one left.

What have you done?
You can't admit.
Even when terror reigns,
stubborn 'til the end.

A timer starts,
counting down your death.
Screaming,
pleading to stop.

Almost done now,
a few seconds left.
With your final breath,
you choke out the truth.

Gratitude is shown,
but it's not enough.
The only payment accepted,
is your appalling life.

© 2015 RiverRei



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Featured Review

This reminds me of that Pretty Little Liars show a roommate forced me to sit down and watch. Episode after episode after episode. Was this piece inspired by the show? If so, you may want to make some sort of note.

"What have you done? You can't admit. Even when terror reigns, stubborn til the end." This flows easier than "the game continues, one falls, and another. Only one left." It feels like counting down from ten.

The voice seems to change also, which I find confusing. At first it seems as if you are the one receiving a text from the dead. But then you ask what someone else has done. As if accusing. Being judgemental. Who am I supposed to hear?

I am guessing this is a poem about revenge. Do you want this piece to be spoken by the protagonist or antagonist? If both, make it clear who is doings the talking. Is this a conversation or is someone just thinking? Regretting?

I can see that you are experimenting. Which is more than I have been doing lately, so I understand how tough the process can be. Try and relax and let the ideas flow out of you. Don't force it.


Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RiverRei

2 Years Ago

This wasn't forced at all actually. I had just finished seeing the movie Unfriended and this came to.. read more
RiverRei

2 Years Ago

The poem is essentially a narrator or third person viewer of the situation. Does that make more sens.. read more
Michelle Coleman

2 Years Ago

The first part of the poem is definitely in first person. Then it changes.

I have ne.. read more



Reviews

Omg, omg, omg...is this a poem based on Unfriended? So uncanny the resemblance! Well, your poem does more justice than the movie to be honest. Very haunting and appalling. You are the master of writing about dark tales!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RiverRei

2 Years Ago

Okay you must be able to read my mind of something...yes, this is based on the movie Unfriended lol... read more
Nadia Gerassimenko

2 Years Ago

hahahaha....I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice photo and I like the story.
"A timer starts,
counting down your death.
Screaming,
pleading to stop."
When death comes. No time to escape. I like the flow of thoughts leading to the honest ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote



Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RiverRei

2 Years Ago

Thanks CP :D
Coyote Poetry

2 Years Ago

You are welcome.
lol... i don't know why but i was laughing while reading it... :D

Expecting more like this. :P

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RiverRei

2 Years Ago

Laughing?? You must have an evil sense of humor haha. Glad you liked it :)
Jeyanthi

2 Years Ago

lol, well defined. :D
i was reading from different perspective... :)
RiverRei

2 Years Ago

OH!!! That will definitely do it then haha. :)
the format builds up the tension, each victim ticked off one by one until you are left standing alone!
I also saw how this can relate you actual death, how we all die alone, no one comes with us they san support home our hand but we journey it alone!
great write

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RiverRei

2 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Wow.......i'm not sure what to say. The poem is good...if only i'd knew the meaning for sure. Anyways, 100 from me.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RiverRei

2 Years Ago

Just reflecting on a scary movie I watched last night lol.
Dani The Unreviewed

2 Years Ago

Oh...that makes sense.
For this poem took my breath away, the last two verses are gripped me. Very similar to the book I was reading recently, Moksha by Huxley. How truthful and beautifully you crafted those to two verses. Loved it.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RiverRei

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much, that means a lot to me :)
Very mysterious poem. Death is indeed breattaking, literally and figuratively. Very well done. :) Rudi

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RiverRei

2 Years Ago

Thank you Rudi :)
"Almost done now,
a few seconds left.
With your final breath,
you choke out the truth."

Love that stanza my friend :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RiverRei

2 Years Ago

Thanks Aaron :) you're the best!
This reminds me of that Pretty Little Liars show a roommate forced me to sit down and watch. Episode after episode after episode. Was this piece inspired by the show? If so, you may want to make some sort of note.

"What have you done? You can't admit. Even when terror reigns, stubborn til the end." This flows easier than "the game continues, one falls, and another. Only one left." It feels like counting down from ten.

The voice seems to change also, which I find confusing. At first it seems as if you are the one receiving a text from the dead. But then you ask what someone else has done. As if accusing. Being judgemental. Who am I supposed to hear?

I am guessing this is a poem about revenge. Do you want this piece to be spoken by the protagonist or antagonist? If both, make it clear who is doings the talking. Is this a conversation or is someone just thinking? Regretting?

I can see that you are experimenting. Which is more than I have been doing lately, so I understand how tough the process can be. Try and relax and let the ideas flow out of you. Don't force it.


Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RiverRei

2 Years Ago

This wasn't forced at all actually. I had just finished seeing the movie Unfriended and this came to.. read more
RiverRei

2 Years Ago

The poem is essentially a narrator or third person viewer of the situation. Does that make more sens.. read more
Michelle Coleman

2 Years Ago

The first part of the poem is definitely in first person. Then it changes.

I have ne.. read more

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Added on April 21, 2015
Last Updated on May 21, 2015


Author

RiverRei
RiverRei

MI



About
I’m 26 years old, female, my zodiac sign is Cancer, Chinese Zodiac is Snake… I love to read and write like just about everyone else on this website. I have a very sarcastic sense of humor.. more..

Writing
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