A Long Walk

A Long Walk

A Poem by Robert Ray


Young, romantic, and naïve, our walk began,

On a common path, others in front and back.

Disillusioned, winded, aching, some descend,

Or bored or frustrated, quit and backtrack.

 

We climb, grins fading, chasing the fleeing sun,

Light streaking through the soaring treetops,

Broken gray clouds above us, the day half done.

A brewing storm or just mountain dewdrops?

 

We climb, grimacing, chasing the day’s sinking star,

Now alone in the deep shadows, our wills tested,

The pretty, glistening pinnacle, beckons from afar,

Committed, bonded, climbing higher, we are vested.

 

Ah, the peak, at last, loosely clutched our wedded hands;

An orange twilight gently warms, eyes wide, rosy faced;

Then, a fierce mountain whirlwind, nature’s reprimand.

Night upon us, we hunker down, weary bodies embraced.

 

Blackness and cold charge, seizing the stony summit;

Numb, nearly blind, bodies tight, our hearts pound.

Then, wind and ice, the Devil’s lesser known torment;

No shelter, no escape, only treacherous vacant ground.

 

Awake! Oh, dear God, where is my dearest companion?

Did the midnight squall steal you from my desperate embrace;

Or, in your anxious escape, did you stumble into the canyon,

Leaving this place and me, dumbfounded, without a trace?

 

Waiting for dawn, I stand alone, shivering in the icy rain,

Whipping my bare skin like a loose rope in a tornadic wind,

My hands trembling and knees buckling from the pain.

Do I stay, searching, hoping against all odds, or descend?

 

God, do I wait for the next sunrise, get on my knees and pray;

Or, do I depart, heal up, and climb the mountain another day?

 

 

 

 


© 2018 Robert Ray



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Featured Review

Since I haven't been married in my 61 years, you have confirmed that marriage is as difficult as I've heard it is! *wink! wink!* I always love when a writer uses tons of imagery to SHOW instead of tell. Your tough walk up the mountain is clearly described in your extended metaphor that reminds me of back in my mountain hiking days, as well as your double-meaning about the journey of love. My overall observation is that this journey seems to be a little heavy on the "tough" side & not so much on the "joy" side. This is OK, if that's how it feels in your scenario! I also like your use of dynamic verbs . . . hope your holidays are bright! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 4 Weeks Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

4 Weeks Ago

Thank you, Margie, for your comments. You're right. The journey I describe is a bit harsh and dark,.. read more



Reviews

YOU GETTHE READER INTO THIS JOURNEY WILL YOU SEARCH FOR YOUR LOST COMPANION OR CLIMB AGAIN,MAYBE ENCOUNTERING A NEW PERSON, YET YOU MADE SO MUCH OF YOUR JOURNEY WITH THE ONE OF YOUR ''NAIVE''YOUNGER SELF YOUR DECISION ONLY...

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you, Marilyn, for taking time to read this poem, and share your thoughts.
this resembles a cautionary tale. i think the doubt is what comes in like a storm. the initial start of the journey always makes one wonder and daydream about until the sky looks gray.

the metaphor for this is appropriate and yet amazing.

worth the read. R.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you for the read and your feedback. Very much appreciated!
Greetings Robert Ray Such an honor and privileged to read, truly a master class of creativity imagination interpretation and beyond my capacity to say more What awesome writing that makes reading curiously captivating Could just imagine the narration amazingly delivered Thanks for your precious time for sharing your extremely wonderful gift

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you, Jason, for your incredibly kind words. I appreciate you taking the time to read my poem .. read more
Is this just a draft? I loved reading it! Every single word is perfection. Well done on this one :)

Posted 4 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

3 Weeks Ago

Yes, it is. Thanks very much for your kind words. Greatly appreciated.
Since I haven't been married in my 61 years, you have confirmed that marriage is as difficult as I've heard it is! *wink! wink!* I always love when a writer uses tons of imagery to SHOW instead of tell. Your tough walk up the mountain is clearly described in your extended metaphor that reminds me of back in my mountain hiking days, as well as your double-meaning about the journey of love. My overall observation is that this journey seems to be a little heavy on the "tough" side & not so much on the "joy" side. This is OK, if that's how it feels in your scenario! I also like your use of dynamic verbs . . . hope your holidays are bright! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 4 Weeks Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

4 Weeks Ago

Thank you, Margie, for your comments. You're right. The journey I describe is a bit harsh and dark,.. read more
Ah, this is relatable. I love how you crafted this and the word choices too. Love seems like a journey only few can make until the very end ...
Lovely write.

Posted 4 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

4 Weeks Ago

Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking time to read and share your kind words.
Closed

4 Weeks Ago

You're welcome. Always a pleasure reading good works :)
from the heart and gut...

sometimes what just pours out is best...i relate to your writing...my first ex---two years of the first half of this poem, then two years of the second half...and finally, the conclusion...
where did the "WE" go?

Posted 4 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

4 Weeks Ago

That is the question. What happened to the "we," the bond? Some relationships just can't survive t.. read more
It is wonderful. You asked questions and make the reader think.
"Awake! Oh, dear God, where is my dearest companion?
Did the midnight squall take you from my desperate embrace;
Or, in your anxious escape, did you stumble into the canyon,
Leaving this place and me, dumbfounded, without a trace?"
The above line. Real life and true. No easy life for anyone. I liked the complete poem.
Coyote

Posted 4 Weeks Ago


Robert Ray

4 Weeks Ago

Thank you, Coyote. Very much appreciated!
Coyote Poetry

3 Weeks Ago

A amazing pom my friend and you are welcome.

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655 Views
18 Reviews
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Added on December 23, 2017
Last Updated on January 9, 2018
Tags: relationships, marriage, faith, strength, hope, pain, despair, loneliness, journey, free verse

Author

Robert Ray
Robert Ray

Madison, IN



About
"The job of the artist is always to deepen the mystery" (Francis Bacon). Thus, I prefer my readers know me through my words---not my age, birthplace, old jobs or titles, or college names or degrees. .. more..

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