Undeserved Kindness

Undeserved Kindness

A Story by VALORMORE DE PLUME
"

Sometimes you get things you don't deserve.

"

 

Undeserved Kindness

 

     Ricky the rabbit is the fastest of all the small forest creatures, he taunted Tyrone the turtle for being so slow. Tyrone didn’t care about being fast, but Ricky’s comments always upset him anyway. Ricky would laugh as he ran circles around Tyrone. He ran so fast it would create a cloud of dust around the poor turtle.

     Tyrone would say, “Stop that Ricky you know the dust bothers my asthma.”

     Ricky would laugh and keep doing it. Tyrone would have to pull his head and legs into his shell and ignore Ricky. The rabbit eventually got tired of it and went away.

 

     Tyrone’s friends said, “You should not take that from him, he’s such a bully.”

      Tyrone said, “What can I do? He’s so much faster than I am.”

     “I don’t know,” answered his friends. “We wish he was not so mean about it.”

     “Don’t worry about me, I have a thick skin, and I let stuff like that run off my back,” Tyrone said with a hearty laugh.

 

     One sunny day as Tyrone was climbing a steep hill, he ran across a small snail huffing and puffing as he tried to make it up this hill.

     “Hey there little feller,” said Tyrone. “You look plum tuckered out.”

     Sloopy the snail said, “It’s my asthma, I’ll never make it to the top of this hill.”

     Tyrone said, “I know what that’s like. I have asthma too. Climb on my back, I’ll give you a ride to the top.”

     “That is nice of you Tyrone,” said Sloopy as he climbed on Tyrone’s back.

     Tyrone waited patiently as the little snail crawled on his back.

      When the little snail got to the top of his shell, Tyrone yelled, “Hang on Sloopy.”

     It took Tyrone about an hour to finish the trip to the top of the hill.

      While Tyrone made his way uphill, Sloopy could be heard laughing, and screeching, “Wheeee!”

     From the perspective of the snail, riding on Tyrone’s back was like speeding along in a racecar. When they got to the crest of the hill, they notice Ricky the rabbit racing up the hill behind them. He passed them so fast that he blew Sloopy right off Tyrone’s back.

     Sloopy dusted himself off, while asking Tyrone, “Was that a tornado?”

     “No, Ricky rabbit is showing off again,” said Tyrone.

     “Wow, he went by so fast I couldn’t tell what had passed us,” Said Sloopy.

     Halfway down the steep hill, near the cliff, Ricky rabbit turned around to taunt Tyrone.

     Ricky said, “If I looked up, slow, in the dictionary, I would find a picture of you.”

     Ricky laughed and laughed at his joke. Tyrone put his head down because he felt bad. Sloopy felt bad for Tyrone too. Tyrone then noticed a coyote coming up the hill behind Ricky. He could tell the coyote was thinking about rabbit stew, while he looked at Ricky.

     “Look out behind you Ricky,” said Tyrone in a loud voice.

     Ricky laughed, “That’s an old trick Tyrone.”

     “No really, Cassius coyote is right behind you, licking his chops.”

     Ricky laughed so hard he fell down in the grass rolling around laughing still. Tyrone pushed himself off the edge of the hill, pulling in his legs and his head into his shell. He rolled down the hill on the edge of his shell, picking up momentum as he went. Ricky rabbit was still laughing so hard he didn’t see Tyrone coming. Cassius coyote was so intent on having rabbit stew; he didn’t notice Tyrone coming either. Tyrone crashed into Cassius knocking him off the edge of the cliff. Tyrone too went over the cliff, both falling to their death. 

     It took a few moments before Ricky realized what had happened. He raced up the hill to where Sloopy was crying over the loss of his friend.

     “Why would he do that for me?” asked Ricky.

     Sloopy didn’t have an answer for Ricky. Do You?

 

The End

By

Valormore De plume

 

 

 

 


© 2014 VALORMORE DE PLUME



My Review

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Featured Review

Congratulations on your work winning the Need Reviews? II contest! It was well earned! :)
This was adorable and there is much to be learned from here! It doesn't rely too much on the original version of the "Tortoise and the Hare", it flows in its own way. Well done!

-Mila

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

VALORMORE DE PLUME

3 Years Ago

Thank you Mila, for reading and commenting. I am grateful to you for sponsoring this contest and ple.. read more



Reviews

A very interesting version of one of my favorite fables! However, I didn't feel like your piece was the best fit. Heads up though, I am going to do a twisted fairy tale contest next and this little gem would stand out.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

VALORMORE DE PLUME

1 Year Ago

Thank you Margaret M. for sponsoring this contest. I appreciate your feedback and the heads up.
read more
Different from a lot of your other writing I feel. It was a very sweet little story. A twist on the classic. I really liked this one.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Riley Justine

3 Years Ago

Oh, that is beyond sweet. You are an amazing person.
VALORMORE DE PLUME

3 Years Ago

I have lived a long time. I just want to do what I can with the time I have.
Riley Justine

3 Years Ago

Very wise, I respect you and your writing immensely
A modern day fable with a twist. Great stuff.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

VALORMORE DE PLUME

3 Years Ago

Thank you Mr_M. Glad you like this.
I echo Mila's review. Enjoyed the fresh retelling of the old story. I may be giving away my age saying that I remember the song, but I laughed out loud at the "hang on Sloopy" part.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

VALORMORE DE PLUME

3 Years Ago

Thank you Jennie for reading and commenting, I appreciate your input. I often place little NUGGETS i.. read more
Congratulations on your work winning the Need Reviews? II contest! It was well earned! :)
This was adorable and there is much to be learned from here! It doesn't rely too much on the original version of the "Tortoise and the Hare", it flows in its own way. Well done!

-Mila

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

VALORMORE DE PLUME

3 Years Ago

Thank you Mila, for reading and commenting. I am grateful to you for sponsoring this contest and ple.. read more
Wow, what a phenomenal ending. Great twist. Kids don't have many stories that teach selflessness. The dialogue felt a little forced, but other than that I like it!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

VALORMORE DE PLUME

4 Years Ago

Thank you Jessica, this is great feedback.
Jessica

4 Years Ago

You're very welcome!
I think I prefer this version to the original one. I enjoyed the read very much. well done.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

VALORMORE DE PLUME

4 Years Ago

Thank you Engluva. You put a warm smile on my face.
Woody

4 Years Ago

the pleasure is mine, I assure you.
This was one of the best storybook tales I’ve ever read. Ricky didn’t take Tyrone seriously because he lacked a survival trait that Ricky had, and Ricky’s conceit led to a dangerous situation for them both. Tyrone could roll down a hill faster than Ricky could run. Every creature only possesses those survival traits that they need. When we share our survival traits with each other we all benefit. We never know when someone else’s survival trait will save us from harm. Tyron had no conceit.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Aethereal

4 Years Ago

You're welcome! I enjoyed your tiny poem. Now for the rest of the story: Ricky becomes a reformed r.. read more
VALORMORE DE PLUME

4 Years Ago

I think we have a Disney Movie!
Aethereal

4 Years Ago

Later Tyrone's cult divides into two warring factions who begin to sponsor inquisitions. Heretic sna.. read more
Wow. I almost, ALMOST backed out and chose a different story of yours...I'm glad I didn't. I thought it was just another, 'slow and steady wins the race,' play. Do I have an answer for Ricky the Rabbit? No. Very strong moral lesson, this is pretty much an entire children's book. I'd honestly find an artist you know, give them the story ask them to draw it (or draw it yourself) then send it into a publisher of children's books. You never know!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

VALORMORE DE PLUME

4 Years Ago

Thank you sir. Your assessment is encouraging indeed. I'm hosting a group, named children's stories .. read more
N. Van Avery

4 Years Ago

That is a very noble thought, I hope it all works out well. Good for you!
I wouldn't change a thing...this is perfect and a great message. Very nicely done Valormore.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on August 25, 2013
Last Updated on December 26, 2014

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VALORMORE DE PLUME
VALORMORE DE PLUME

Picture Rocks, AZ



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Welcome to, "The Mindscapes of Valormore" I hope my stories produce pictures in your mind. That is what a mindscape is. A place you can go repe.. more..

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