Valentines

Valentine’s day snuck up and I

Slapped my empty head

I knew I must surely act

So from my bed I sped

Down to the chocolate store

I most quickly tread

Buying chocolates for my love

Before she left our bed

But chocolate, I cannot resist

My weakness I then fed

Instead of to my loved one

I ate them all instead

The harsh ensuing fallout

Has left me in real dread

As my darling little turtledove’s

Eyes flashed a dangerous red

And the comment that she offered

Really should not have been said                                  

As she reassigned me

To the garden shed

Instead of chocolate now I eat

Month old hardtack bread

Hopefully there will come

Better days ahead

Author's Note

In ancient Rome women lined up to be beaten
On what started as Valentine’s day
On that day now, it is chocolate that is eaten
And diamonds sent by those who can pay

From its dark and bloody introduction
Which heralded brutal seduction
Then tamed by Chaucer and Shakespeare
To become a day of gentle adoration

Now a day of often spending big dollars
To maintain those subtle neck collars
Presents and quite often red roses
All gently laid at romance’s love altars

But a simple card will most likely do
And of course, flowers are acceptable too
And when the day is finally all through
A warm seat by the fire for two

Reviews

[Nix is typing...]

I don't think I've ever loved a poem more! Valentine's day really did creep up on everyone with everything that's been going on lately. I really loved this poem, Dave! It made me laugh!!!

100/100

Nix ❤️️

[Dave Brown]

Glad you laughed
with all the problems we seem to suffer through these days, laughing is great medicine, Oh, and chocolates aren't too bad either
Be careful out there

[Betty Hermelee]

A lovely thought, albeit a bit late, turns into a miserable ending; however, the way you put it together is very interesting and almost comical. I like the way she scolds you and her eyes turn red! I think it's the rhyme that really makes this poem, and of course the content too; very clever. I love it!
Best, Betty

[Dave Brown]

Thanks Betty but I have to say I hope she softens up quite soon because it is cold out here and I probably saved her a few additional pounds

[Betty Hermelee]

You're funny Dave!!!

[barleygirl]

Great rhyming riffs & I always love your fake self-contrition. I'm catching a big load of attitude off these words as well as this pretending to be a cutesy valentiney little dribble. I can't resist delving into an obvious deeper meaning here . . . clearly this narrator is chafing at the obligatory nature of the holiday! *wink! wink!* I love that you are so full of valentine sentiments, you have to tack on another poem in your author's notes. Maybe I should stay away more often so you can expand your horizons in all the best creative ways (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Dave Brown]

Welcome back into the mystical pages of WritersCafe where your visits are always a treasured wordplay
Hope the book writing goes well and the result will become a literary bombshell
Oh, and good morning
BG

[Robert Trakofler]

at the market yesterday I saw a giant heart-shaped Delmonico steak and I thought to myself what says love more than a big old slab of heart-shaped meat? well I was misteaken

[Dave Brown]

&UR2Funny .

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha yep....doghouse if we forget me not...without the not.
j.