One Cold and Cloudy Rise

One Cold and Cloudy Rise

A Poem by Robert Trakofler
"

This is a rewrite of an old poem I did for Medium it is one of my personal favorites spoken word link and video are in the notes section. as always thank you for reading and or listening to my scrawls

"

    


   One cold and cloudy rise caught caws of calling crows

Though chill did match my heart I ambled to the scene

Caught sight of Countless corvids circling in throws

 

My melancholy eyes took flight in frolics flow

Black dashes dip and dart as far as I could see

One cold and cloudy rise caught charm of calling crows

 

My exhales turned to sighs to view this grace bestow

To witness living arts impressionistic seen

Catch sight of Countless corvids circling in throws

 

A tear dropped from my eye to spot the solemn show

A single crow’s depart the source of this grieving

One Cold and cloudy rise caught cause of calling crows

 

This funerary flight that set my soul aglow

In gratitude impart compose this song I sing

Caught site of Countless corvids circling in throws

 

I pray with all my might that vision never goes

When all around seems stark I’ll find the hidden springs

One Cold and cloudy rise caught caws of calling crows

Catch sight of Countless corvids circling in throws

© 2020 Robert Trakofler

© 2020 Robert Trakofler


Author's Note

Robert Trakofler

My Review

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Featured Review

i love the crows and ravens .. always powerful omens says i! the consonance is "milk tongue" .. trips delightedly off the lips. :) .. my feel in reading this is one of your speakers maturity in life ... the cold difficult days will come and go ... those of stout heart and spirit will look for that bright spot .. the Villanelle form works well with the "corvids" .. as they breeze in and out of life's situations .. a repeating yet ever changing flow ... nicely done says i .. a positive encouraging poem for a time that is rather bleak .. especially if one takes note at all of news stories ... one would think we were the weakest of creatures without spirit nor wit about us according to TV. ... it ain't so is it Bunny Man! :)
E.


Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler

1 Week Ago

that video was taken when I caught a large migrating murder taking a break along the riverside and i.. read more
Einstein Noodle

1 Week Ago

better your bread than you eh Bun Man! :)))))))))))))



Reviews

With your cunning wit I’m not sure this is about crows and corvids and it’s more about covids, our lovely plague engulfing our planet. Either way it’s a good write Robert.

Posted 13 Hours Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler

13 Hours Ago

Hi Andrew:) thanks so much I wish I could claim such brilliance but I originally wrote this long bef.. read more
You reviewed two of mine so I will comment another from you as well.
I say wow you taught me a new term to my bird lover heart, at first I thought you was referring to covid 19 until I checked corvids to realise to my surprise that it is a term for crows and ravens etc. Your poem is awesomely classic and fabulous and it reminds me of a similar funeral congregation of crows i witnessed when one was killed. Indians find crows scary, anything black is scary to some Indians but seeing how you guys admire them has taken off some of our fear of black animals. But Indians still prefer keeping only white cats as pets and admire only white or colourful birds . Kudos for a great poem I hope poets don't expect such classic perfect poetry from me by the way.

Posted 2 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler

2 Days Ago

I expect that one day you will write something even more sublime my dear poet friend:) in truth i on.. read more


This just happens to be my most favouritest of yours as well Rob ... and I just also happened to know that I had read and commented before .. but that dont matter none becuz I find summat new every single time I wing my way back ... and aint they just amazin critters :)



Posted 3 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Neville

15 Hours Ago


... I hope everything went according to plan .... :)
Robert Trakofler

15 Hours Ago

Yes it got published:)
Neville

14 Hours Ago


I shall have a large glass of red and toast you this very eve brother Bun :)
I could only aspire to write in this caliber of style. Thank you for this masterpiece, Robert!

Posted 5 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler

4 Days Ago

Kelly you are melting my heart:) what a very nice thing to say thank you so much!
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I do remember reading this poem before, dear Robert. That crow theme seemed very familiar. I am not sure what you edited here for this version but it still retains its atmospheric quality. The ending repetition stands out for me, the alliteration works very well. It's fine to give the old 'classics' a reboot, just don't end up like Disney! :))

Posted 1 Week Ago


Robert Trakofler

1 Week Ago

I redid it mostly for a publication that ran it:) and this is the time of year that the crows Start .. read more
Your spoken voice is so soothing and evocative Robert. "Caught sight...caught site" in a melancholy and ominously pristine video.., your words and rhyming alliterative song are so perfect. "This funerary flight"- yes, "Quoth the Raven...Nevermore."....

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler

1 Week Ago

Hi Annette:) this was my personal tribute to mr Poe... My mother used to quote "the Raven" to me as .. read more
This reads just like a sonnet without iambic pentameter which gives the words free verse quality. A wonderfully crafted vision of epic creativity.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler

1 Week Ago

Hi, how are you:) this is one of my favorites... I am a bit of a hybrid (as you just said) I use all.. read more
Wow. Reminds me of Edgar Allen Poe. It's really beautiful work. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler

1 Week Ago

this is the time of year the crows migrate I got nostalgic and did a rewrite of this Poe-m:) I love .. read more
Repetition can be an effective device, and here it is used very effectively to create a mood. That mood is melancholy; there is a sadness hanging over the entire work, although its source is not specified. The black birds, of course, made me think of Poe, and the somberness here is very reminiscent of "The Raven." Of course "corvid" is very close in spelling to "covid," so I must suspect that the pandemic in its ongoing orgy of destruction is somehow present here, if only symbolically.The poet's known penchant for alliteration adds to the effect of the repetition. One of your best, Bunny.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler

1 Week Ago

thanks John:) this really is one of my favorites
you use Covid as a noun/ coquettish and artful, it is beautiful behavior, noun usage to conceal something illicit or blameworthy; something large and discharging like a gaggle of crows in the cloud filled sky. But this is a love poem from which a vessel is suspended in a sea of hidden things...Like Dickinson hid things in her mistrust of a world filled with gentlemanly plans:

"As freezing persons recollect the snow. First the chill, then stupor, then the letting go"/ And you read this just as i would have imagined Ms Emily would have read her famous poem that this passage is from,
"After Great Pain a Formal Feeling Comes".

I'm sitting here,( and there was a time when i didn't need coffee or cigarettes to make poetry colorful again) in my pajamas and my stocking cap to hold my waves in place...thinking how poems, your poems, have blessed us so greatly.....dana

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Trakofler

1 Week Ago

wow i love your reflections of this one:) you make me want to write write write more dear Dana

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Added on September 13, 2020
Last Updated on September 13, 2020
Tags: Robert Trakofler, poetry, One Cold and Cloudy Rise, spoken word

Author

Robert Trakofler
Robert Trakofler

pittsburgh, PA



About
I am the Bunny but the bunny isn't me long live the bunny Hello I’m Robert I own an art gallery and performance space in Pittsburgh called The Zenith It is also an antique store and a veget.. more..

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