Waiting

Waiting

A Poem by James Watts
"

Not a super great poem. But it is a moment eleven years ago that brought me a lot of happiness.

"
 Waiting

Clocks ticking on the wall
I sit here waiting
Dully glossed tile floors
So aggravating
Yet I sit patiently through it all


Cheap T.V. mounted on the wall
I sit here waiting
Always on some channel I dislike
So aggravating
Yet I sit patiently through it all


Others around me await the nurses call
I sit here waiting
Calling every name but mine
So aggravating
Yet I sit patiently through it all

Midnight brings footfalls echoing through the hall
I sit here waiting
The nurse finally calls my name
So invigorating
I stand and give her a smile, trying not to cry at all

She leads me to a delivery room with dull gray walls
I stand there hesitating
My wife and newborn son only a few feet away
Patiently waiting
I embrace them both and cry, my little family and I
We made it through the night, and did not fall





© 2010 James Watts


Author's Note

James Watts
Just a simple poem of a past memory that is special to me. I wanted it simple, because we were a simple family. Still new to poetry and testing my legs. I am working on getting better.

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Reviews

such a heart tugging write and well expressed

Posted 10 Months Ago


These three lines made the poem too repetitive: "I sit here waiting," "So aggravating," "Yet I sit patiently through it all." I know this was for emotional effect to explain to your audience how you felt...and how you continued to feel; but, it takes away from the rest of the poem far too much. As you read you tend to grow tired of re-reading the same thing nearly three times in four paragraphs--making it as though the majority of the poem consists of these three lines. Dramatic affect is all good; as is repetitive phrases if done artfully and thoughtfully, but this was a little too repetitive. I, personally, would lengthen the poem and shorten the use if not cut out all together one if not two of those three lines...possibly a cameo in every other stanza would work well.

Normally I don't care but you're an experienced poet and I wanted to give something other than praise :). Good work all in all man!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Now, to put his one against other works, it is far too simply worded. I know there's more to this in the light of the emotion of having a child brought into the world, yet this felt sad in a way. The last line gives up the hope and relief you must have felt. Good, and I know better stuff is coming.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Dear James,

I think I am seeing the birth of a poet. You've written a number of pieces now. I know you are feeling the power of the medium. It is substantial. You are doing well in this new adventure of yours--don't stop. Keep going.

This is a nice piece about a powerful moment is anyone's life: a birth! Is there anything more powerful or inspiring in life? We may in later life question the value and purpose of life, but there is something in us that still smiles and still breathes of a sigh of awe at the delivery of a new life into this world. I think this is just the way we are put together.

Nice piece, my friend. Greatly enjoyed.

Kindest regards,

Rick

Posted 10 Years Ago


I'm making up for reviews I haven't returned. So you may get a few from me depending :). OK, this was a very sweet poem. and very emotional.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Sweet piece with an explanation. I think that the repetition could be omitted in some places, but overall, this was a piece more for a moment, more for an emotion rather than technicalities. Overall, well done. Nice job. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


At least you admitted your nervousness ... most men mosey off and go to breakfast! ;-)

Posted 10 Years Ago


these are the moments only males go through….
I mean married males….
And it is the time they give birth to a father inside themselves….….
Nice poem…


Posted 10 Years Ago


This was sooo sweet. I liked this, its cute and full of love :)

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on May 2, 2010
Last Updated on May 6, 2010

Author

James Watts
James Watts

Dora, Al, AL



About
James Watts was born in Birmingham, Alabama in March of 1976. Growing up in the small town of West Jefferson, Alabama, Watts spent his days lost in his vivid imagination. At age 10, he discovere.. more..

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