I Didn't Get to Live Your Life

I Didn't Get to Live Your Life

A Story by barleygirl
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my holiday rant . . .

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Yesterday I snapped at a dear friend on Facebook. That wasn’t right. What I said needs to be said to a wider audience. It wasn’t just her FB meme. There are so many posted, especially with holidays approaching, I see them every day. This is so disturbing to me, sometimes I stay away from FB over the holidays.

People become strangely crazed, thinking they must tell others how to feel, how to celebrate, who or how we should love, even the proper way to greet people.

I love hearing how much you enjoy this and that in your life. I want to hear how your top-notch family is special to you and how you honor your mother and father. But please stop telling me to do life the way you do it.

That’s just not possible for some of us. I didn’t get to live your life.

If you have never had a chat with me about what it feels like to be raped, several times a week, by multiple family members, from toddler-age to adolescence . . . then why would it be okay for you to tell me that I should respond to my life and family the same way you respond to your life and family?

Thank you for paying attention to what you post. I’m sure none of these well-meaning people ever thought they were posting something offensive.

We can all make America about FREEDOM again!

© 2019 barleygirl


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I've never been on FB and don't plan to be. I don't like any social media sites with the exception of WC.

If I had a dime for every woman I've met on this site that has been raped...I hate that anything like that has happened to any woman. The men who do it should be castrated.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Since I write openly, people confide in me in private msgs, so I have to say: lots of guys included,.. read more



Reviews

Margie, I deactivated my Facebook page a long time ago. Everything you've said here has merit, and it brings to mind the undercurrent I've noticed in social media. In short, so much on FB and other social media sites is BS.

People post what they want others to read, which is often not the whole story or the true story. I've read research that validates this point. Further, the research shows our brain chemistry is affected by what we write/post and read/see on FB. The research suggests what we want most is validation, so we can get that rush from happy brain cocktails... for what we're trying to project, even if it's half the story or a bold-face lie.

I suppose my point here is I don't want anybody else's life because it's probably not any better than mine... They're probably just lying to everyone else and ultimately him/herself.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

The person who originally sparked this rant, I just noticed this morning she posted a guilt-provokin.. read more
R.E. Ray

1 Week Ago

Years ago, I "unfriended" all my co-workers on FB because I was an executive manager and didn't want.. read more
gram said it best so i'm just gonna plague-the-rise:

loved this rant, Margie, quite dark at times, don't do any social media except this and even then I am a wee bit lax, you may have noticed, as the Levellers once said *there's only one way of life, and that's your own,
keep up writing openly and f**k facebook,

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

I've been on FB for at least a decade & never ruffled the feathers of plentiful Trump-supporting con.. read more
loved this rant, Margie, quite dark at times, don't do any social media except this and even then I am a wee bit lax, you may have noticed, as the Levellers once said *there's only one way of life, and that's your own,
keep up writing openly and f**k facebook,

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Here at the cafe, if I mention something ugly from my past, lots of people always respond to me. On .. read more
gram linski

1 Week Ago

haha, f**k them ,stink away,
I have no time for Facebook and I use it sparingly because I just think it’s a platform for exhibitionism and snooping. Happy people don’t have the need to go around exalting themselves on social media and it’s more the fakers who do that. And No one and no one has a right to tell us how to live our lives, least of all these fakers. I’m always deeply touched reading about the ordeals you went through in your childhood Margie and always appreciate your courage and candour in sharing your life’s good and bad experiences with us here. It’s all about reaching out and making a difference and you surely do that.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

I love your analysis of FB & other ways that public people lord it over others by displaying their ".. read more
Well said. There is no one way to live. Our experiences are going to shape how we behave and react.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Now why can't I ever say things that simply? Very well said! Glad to have you stop by. I haven't see.. read more
Jon Roggie

1 Week Ago

Just got back. I have been expressing my creativity in landscaping!
Some people just feel the need to tell others how to think, feel or act. They base it on their views and experiences.

Funny story. Once here on the WC, I use to decorate my page with holiday pics. One year a friend asked why I did't have any Hanukkah pics up with the Christmas. I said I wasn't Jewish. I told her I have nothing against Jewish but I'm not. She said I should have stuff to celebrate all the holidays. I told her when I decorate my house I don't put Hanukkah decorations up so why would on on my page.

Just an interesting story.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

I have a related story. I was talking to a Hispanic friend, telling me he had to drive his daughter .. read more
I love this, Margie. Sometimes people don’t recognize the power of words and rhetoric. Life itself is not political and should not be made to feel as such.

I was on FB at one time and it was a very enriching experience. It’s where I learned tons about writing from a group of caring writers who gathered there to offer time to one another for the purpose of improving our craft. I discovered a family in that capacity (some I still refer to as brothers and sisters) and formed some very strong connections with people from all over the world. It changed my views in a lot of ways. The group dissolved some time ago, as groups often do online. I stayed on FB for awhile to keep in touch with everyone, but during the last presidential election cycle the site changed dramatically and I decided to leave.

It’s not the same place and I’m not sure that group could even develop in the current environment.

I think people forget in those situations that we meet as individuals with a full life of unrelated experiences and that formulas should not be applied.

Your example of your painful past experience and how it has impacted your world-view is such a strong example of how desperately we need to slow down and start meeting each other as individuals rather than factions.

This is an excellent reminder of how hurtful words or ideas can be when we wield them carelessly. Thanks for always meeting us with honesty and openness. It’s a sorely needed thing just now.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

This is a brilliant assessment of how my rant relates to the total picture of how things are broken .. read more
Exactly why I don't do facebook. Arguements from the always right and the mysteries of small lives that are not really mysteries. What I had for dinner. What shoes I am wearing. Also I dislike it because manners seem to have taken a back seat. There is nothing to identfy the bad mannered person and so manners therfore not necessary. Surely there is more to communication than that. I can say what I want to whom I want without reprisals. And this just makes me more right Sorry if this sounds holier than thou.
For people who have such trauma to live through, be there, be strong snd be suppirtive. Don't tell people how to react, how to respond as if you are the fount of all knowledge because you can write a minor message on a computer. Don't venture opinions. Don't criticise the victim. Especially one who seeks help. Be friend not a patrician. Try not to be an expert. Or to sound like an expert where it is not wanted. This is my philosophy. Churchill said. Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
I say, my family is who I choose to speak to.


Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

This is so well written, it needs to be a posting in its own right! I've never thought to try to ins.. read more
I use Facebook for family. Facebook is too messy for me. When we know someone, know their secrets, their joy and their struggle. Us, who love to write. Do show real face sometimes. I hope you are having some warm days still. Winter had found Michigan. Leave are falling and the snow too dear friend. Thank you for sharing your words and your thoughts Margie.
Coyote

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

This year has been delightful -- mild summer, brisk fall. I'm a wimp about chilly nights, but I have.. read more
Coyote Poetry

1 Week Ago

I am glad, have fun and be safe dear Margie.
I'm just going to the toilet, hold on I'll tell everybody about it, maybe show them what I'm having for dinner. Don't you just love FB. Beats me why the Russians what to manipulate it. Mind you, maybe they have manipulated it and I just thought they were all nuts.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Sorry to make you barf! That's why I don't pull out this ammunition very often. But I was so fed up .. read more
Paul Bell

1 Week Ago

You go girl.

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Added on November 5, 2019
Last Updated on November 5, 2019

Author

barleygirl
barleygirl

Central Coast, CA



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Just loving life & sharing my blessings. more..

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