Senator or Salmon?

Senator or Salmon?

A Story by barleygirl
"

Thanks, Rob Trakofler, for blowing my gasket!

"

It’s not easy to stand out among US congressional nobility. But let me shine some slime on the most revolting dignitary ever to grace the senate floor. I propose that Mitch McConnell has earned this dubious distinction with honors.

We suffered Congressman Anthony Weiner for twelve years before he resigned over probes of sexting with underage females. Predators in congress are too numerous to itemize, sadly. But nobody forgets Weiner because his laptop took center stage in our 2016 presidential election, and many would say, to the detriment of our country.

Then there’s America’s toughest sheriff, Arpaio of Arizona. He was convicted on multiple charges of racial profiling and his dirty deeds against Hispanics were widespread for decades. Arpaio was pardoned by Trump prior to running for senate. Arizonans had the good sense not to elect him in 2018, but he’ll be back on the ballot in 2020, nearing the age of eighty-eight.

Can’t forget Judge Roy Moore, Alabama’s finest, running for senate in 2017 and 2020, despite numerous allegations of sexual misconduct against teenage girls. Former Trump aide George Papadopoulos, jailed after pleading guilty for lying to the FBI during the Mueller Russia probe, plans to rescue his beloved state of California by running in an upcoming special election. If my fellow Californians elect this dolt, I will s**t myself.

Amid this notable sampling of scoundrels who have been or are aspiring to be lawmakers, Mitch McConnell stands out. As Kentucky’s longest-serving senator, first elected in 1984, he became majority leader in 2014.

McConnell has been widely detested since 2016 for blocking the nomination of an Obama nominee for Supreme Court. It was the start of his overall plan to pack the courts with conservatives under Trump, an ongoing triumph he gloats about. It may be his only accomplishment as senate leader. This self-serving jerk obstructs nearly everything by refusing to bring anything to the floor that might displease Trump. So much for “balance of power”! Drooping Mitch smirks into TV cameras as he smugly defies the will of the people all the time.

Sixty percent of this country agrees that McConnell is the worst kind of pond scum. But my friend Rob put it into perfect perspective today.

“Who’s that old fart in the senate with a hangdog face?”

“Oh Rob, I know who you mean . . . McConnell.”

“He looks like a salmon that’s done spawning and is now rotting.”

“OMIGOSH! I’m catching your vision indeed!”

I almost peed myself laughing when Rob described Mitch’s face as being hangdog. That phizog grows more grotesque as each congressional season steamrolls over it. Five pounds of molten caramel drips from his jowls. The surreal spitefulness of that face reflects his evil intentions upon our country. A visage like his requires decades spent nuzzling the face-grinder of political self-preservation. His countenance self-destructs, standing at his podium with a guilty smirk.

As most know, salmon are born in a fresh-water stream, then they swim out to the ocean to live their lives in salt water. Eventually, it’s time to make that once-in-a-lifetime trek back up their natal river. Salmon thrash upstream, leaping gushing rapids, bashing over boulders, not eating and using up their lifeforce just to spawn in the gravelly shallows of their headwaters. Then they die.

“A salmon that’s done spawning is a raggedy heap of flesh still flapping its gills . . . sounds exactly like McConnell to me!” I’ve been laughing ever since we had this conversation. Already-rotting live salmon are so beat up and discombobulated, hunks of puffy flesh float along beside like miniature inflatable rafts and their dreary scales are pocked with popcorn.

“That slime bucket looks worse and worse as the years go by!”

“I’ve noticed it, too! Since I quit satellite TV, I hardly ever see McConnell’s mug anymore. It’s startling how much he’s deteriorated when I do see him!”

“He looks (and acts) like a hunk of putrid fish, used up and floundering. Won’t this vicious old fool ever die?”

Note: About five to ten percent of salmon, mostly female, return to the ocean after spawning, where they can recover and spawn again.

Afterthoughts: If McConnell ends up actually dying soon, the ones who will hate my rant will be the ones who sat on their hands while Senator John McCain was verbally razed before and after death.

© 2019 barleygirl


Author's Note

barleygirl
If you're offended by my political rant, I won't take it personally if you unfriend me or block me. I don't want friends who've inflicted the likes of Trump on this country.

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Featured Review

I definitely lean conservative, but I have never cared for Mitch McConnell either. At first glance, he just physically repulses, politics aside. I will say though that no politician, whether I support them or not, is all good or all bad. No matter what side they are on, they are bastardized by those on the opposing side, all in an effort to divide the public against them. More importantly, it's meant to divide people from one another. As a citizen and one that these elected people are supposed to represent, I am getting tired of being played for the fool. We should all be pissed off. None of them deserve our vote. They have anointed themselves Kings and Queens. They can't relate to us nor do they represent us. They pontificate about what's best for us, write laws that are foisted upon the "people," yet, they themselves are exempt from abiding by the same. Insider trading was illegal for the people, but they were doing it for years. The Affordable Care Act was good enough for us, but they don't want it. Social Security is good enough for us, but they have their own federal retirement plan that they pay into. I know people who are completely dependent on Social Security without realizing that it can end at any time. Money that we work hard to earn is taken away from us, and people live under the notion that it is being put in some "lock box" (as Al Gore once called it) for our future retirement. Poppycock! For decades, the surpluses in Social Security have been spent for pork barrel programs by politicians on both sides of the aisle. Then they want to strike alarm by saying that it will run out by this year or that. Well, if the funds were truly set aside and protected, this wouldn't have happened; but since it's not their retirement program, who cares? Most people have no idea that the Supreme Court has ruled that workers have no legally binding contractual rights to their Social Security benefits, and that those benefits can be cut or even eliminated at any time. One side can point at the other side, but both sides are doing the same thing: working against the interests of the American people. Until the American people demand different, there will always be them against us, the elitists against the little guy. Every single one of them on capital hill gets richer, far surpassing their salary. It's because they have won the lottery of a posh seat in Congress.

Posted 1 Week Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Holy s**t! And I thought I was cynical & jaded! This is a great rant, totally putting my own to sham.. read more
Linda Marie Van Tassell

1 Week Ago

You're welcome. :-) I don't consider it cynical or jaded. Unfortunately, it's the truth. We need.. read more



Reviews

Politics are hard to digest. Internal fighting always. When do they try to help the people. Trump open up the lakes and the sea for oil. Few complains. If we don't pay attention. We will be in deep s**t. Outstanding words and thoughts shared dear Margie.
Coyote

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

4 Days Ago

I agree . . . many of the political injustices can be blamed on our inattention as a people. We take.. read more
Coyote Poetry

3 Days Ago

You are welcome dear Margie.
I see your stirring it up. I could care less as politics are a sham for the rich and ugly and I lean libertarian anyway. All I see is inner city liberal and conservative alike taking for their own greed. Nothing I have is theirs to give or to take. I dont need a nanny or a village. Ok that's it! I'm getting my "stay off my lawn" signs out of the garage again.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

This is the best rant I've heard in a while becuz it's nothing like what most people gripe about. I .. read more
I really really like your rantish side, don't know much about US politics but they sound like all round c***s, and as for Trump don't get me f*****g started, was Hilary such a bad choice, he couldn't possibly do it again,

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

The really weird thing is that the top contenders to knock Trump off his throne in 2020 -- all 3 are.. read more
Whichever party you follow you come to the point where personal integrity must take over. It must be obvious to anyone that trump is incapable through his depleted mental state of leading the country. When you think of his responsibilities for areas like nuclear weapons it is frightening for us all. Apart from anything else in can't be in the long term interest of Republicans to continue this charade. Time for them to be counted!
A timely rant Margie.
Alan

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

It's completely amazing to me that 30 or 40% of this country (differing at various times) cannot see.. read more
Not first on your Christmas party invite list then? :))

We have this type over here; devious, and cynically self serving, just two of their myriad sins against us. Strange really, isn't it, how politics seems to attract scum of the lowest order, yet at the same time produces the likes of Mandela, Gandhi and Abraham Lincoln.

I cannot stand the brown nosers' who will say and do anything in order to climb the greasy pole and feather their own nests. Rotten and avaricious to the core; and it's almost a given that they'll leave politics a damn sight richer than their salaries would dictate.

Beccy.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

"Climb the greasy pole" . . . that sounds like a poem in the making! *wink! wink!* I could stand the.. read more
Old Moscow Mitch stinks worse then a dead salmon lying in the sun.
He is a total disgrace to this country and our Government. There are some corrupt politicians, but he takes the cake. He has blocked so many bills from going to the floor that don't suit him to Trump. Democracyy is on life support.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

I actually howled loud when I first started reading this! This is sadly hilarious! Thank you for end.. read more
The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)

1 Week Ago

Well glad I could make you laugh... it is funny indeed but sad and dangerous.

FYI, I .. read more
barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Thank you for rattling my cage about that. I would not want to miss this & I can be scattered as I m.. read more
I definitely lean conservative, but I have never cared for Mitch McConnell either. At first glance, he just physically repulses, politics aside. I will say though that no politician, whether I support them or not, is all good or all bad. No matter what side they are on, they are bastardized by those on the opposing side, all in an effort to divide the public against them. More importantly, it's meant to divide people from one another. As a citizen and one that these elected people are supposed to represent, I am getting tired of being played for the fool. We should all be pissed off. None of them deserve our vote. They have anointed themselves Kings and Queens. They can't relate to us nor do they represent us. They pontificate about what's best for us, write laws that are foisted upon the "people," yet, they themselves are exempt from abiding by the same. Insider trading was illegal for the people, but they were doing it for years. The Affordable Care Act was good enough for us, but they don't want it. Social Security is good enough for us, but they have their own federal retirement plan that they pay into. I know people who are completely dependent on Social Security without realizing that it can end at any time. Money that we work hard to earn is taken away from us, and people live under the notion that it is being put in some "lock box" (as Al Gore once called it) for our future retirement. Poppycock! For decades, the surpluses in Social Security have been spent for pork barrel programs by politicians on both sides of the aisle. Then they want to strike alarm by saying that it will run out by this year or that. Well, if the funds were truly set aside and protected, this wouldn't have happened; but since it's not their retirement program, who cares? Most people have no idea that the Supreme Court has ruled that workers have no legally binding contractual rights to their Social Security benefits, and that those benefits can be cut or even eliminated at any time. One side can point at the other side, but both sides are doing the same thing: working against the interests of the American people. Until the American people demand different, there will always be them against us, the elitists against the little guy. Every single one of them on capital hill gets richer, far surpassing their salary. It's because they have won the lottery of a posh seat in Congress.

Posted 1 Week Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Holy s**t! And I thought I was cynical & jaded! This is a great rant, totally putting my own to sham.. read more
Linda Marie Van Tassell

1 Week Ago

You're welcome. :-) I don't consider it cynical or jaded. Unfortunately, it's the truth. We need.. read more
Well, I don't like to comment when it comes to politics but I will say he looks like his long floppy ears have been pulled back. :)

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

This is hilarious. I wish i could stay cool as a cucumber when I'm ranting, such that I could come u.. read more
I’m not familiar with American politicians but your sketch of some of them here is very interesting. McConnell’s description may have put me off salmon for some time :) We have more than our share of jokers in politics and reading you here, I feel it’s no different for other lands. I guess we just have to grit our teeth and bear them. Such an entertaining read, Margie.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Our country doesn't need anymore strife, so I've stayed quiet for years about this guy. But lately I.. read more
DIVYA

1 Week Ago

My pleasure :)))) Hugs!
That picture is perfect you can see plainly he has a mouthful of putrescent muck ready to be spewed upon the masses any second now! That truly is a face that stands for nothing not a sincere balanced scale left upon his flesh as the filth of his victims weigh upon his greedy selfish soul turning him into the wretchedness he propagates. Those black shark eyes ready to swallow yet another constituents life for the sake of free market pharma and coal oil and gas pollution to choke the planet into submission for capital gains!

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

So I guess you're saying I didn't go far enuf in lambasting him? *wink! wink!* I've never written a .. read more
Robert Trakofler (Bad Bunny)

1 Week Ago

sorry you got me started up I thought i was being subtle LOL

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Added on November 7, 2019
Last Updated on November 7, 2019

Author

barleygirl
barleygirl

Central Coast, CA



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Just loving life & sharing my blessings. more..

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