Murmurs After Midnight

Murmurs After Midnight

A Poem by barleygirl
"

reading Emmajoy compels me to write . . .

"

Darkness dines on delusions
as silence slakes the squirm
cacophony and confusions
a wanton turn of the worm
a snark that snuffs aspiration
a trail of thundering hooves
crumpling our conversation
righteous orator disapproves
truth is missing in the maze
echoing crystalline corridors
some squeak along sideways
fearing the feckless foragers
bolstering the virtuous sinners
sucking sustenance from light
only enough air for winners
others are smooshed by smite.

© 2020 barleygirl


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Featured Review

Do you mean that winners can conquer even in the darkest midnight but the gossiping fellas will just curse the stars for dimming low? Hence they are smooshed by the smite! My two pence of interpretation ya know😉
I love midnight more than mornings. But none of them shall stay still more than their hours.
Won't welcome you back as you were and are always here♡



Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

5 Months Ago

I don't mean anything by this & thanks for giving me some ideas about the interpretation! It's great.. read more



Reviews

Each line of this poem is a like a mini-poem. Then put together it leaves me with a feeling something I cannot describe. But if there is only air for winners...maybe I am not a winner and am suffocating. Great poem.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

4 Months Ago

I wrote this poem long before this happened, but Arizona is instituting a program (according to a nu.. read more
adornoscousin

4 Months Ago

The triage of life. wow.
dearest Margie... "the electrolyte water should help slake
the runner's thirst during the marathon". We become less eager
and therefor 'slack off'. An interesting word that has been used for ages;
however, you are so creative that I thought I was in a Star Trek movie.
gently, Pat

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

5 Months Ago

It sounds like you're debating the use of "slake" vs "slack" . . . I was being pretty deliberate whe.. read more
This feels like a study in contrasts to me. You have this lovely, peaceful photo, but then your poem offers all of this discordant or uncomfortable imagery. I can’t help be think of our current political reality. But maybe in more personal terms like how the divisiveness of US politics is translating in our minds and altering us in ways we don’t fully understand.

Trust is becoming harder and harder to settle on. Many are becoming suspicious of everything and everyone—especially those outside their group—and it feels a bit like we are living in the center of a mad hive of bees. Swatting in all directions and always on guard.

What I like about your poem is that it does offer a certain duality. The peace of vision and the title juxtaposed to the chaos of the delusions, cacophony and confusions. It made my mind keep filtering back through to try and find my footing among the ideas. And that very much characterizes the way I feel many days when faced with the reality of the world we are living in. Great poem, Margie. Love the energy you always bring to the party.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

5 Months Ago

This awesome & lengthy review is truly a gift! I loved it! I was transfixed as you described what th.. read more
Wonderful visualization here. A desperation in decrepit sadness foraged on by the desire to relate. I love it, the dark themes and sequence really pull this one together.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

5 Months Ago

Thank you so much for your kind words & for seeing this the way I was hoping for it to go (((HUGS))).. read more

Nice one Margie... actually, 'NICE' no matter the font type or size used does not do sufficient justice to these words and the way ya made them fit together (NUGs) fondly..

Neville

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

5 Months Ago

After not writing a poem for 2 months, I found that the alliteration & rhyme were kinda piled up ins.. read more
Your opening lines are so strong here Margie. This write has great rhythm, rhyme and alliteration. I found my mind wandering in the darkness of the midnight setting, getting carried away. Just what happens to me in real life. Your posted image a perfect match for this little piece of magic.

Chris

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

5 Months Ago

Thank you so much for sharing your reading experience, which is just what I was going for . . . that.. read more
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Lox
That wordplay though! Loved how you started, astonished on how you ended it. Keep up the good work.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

5 Months Ago

Thank you so much for a great review . . . I can't remember seeing you here (I've been gone a couple.. read more
Lox

5 Months Ago

Thank you, that'd help a lot.
Your poem is so sad and hopeless.. Please stay strong and be fine.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

5 Months Ago

Thank you for your caring! I, personally, am living a life of lightness & laughter . . . it's only w.. read more
Lale

5 Months Ago

I'm glad you do. Stay safe.
As a huge fan of alliteration this poem was music to my ears. So skillfully written, not a word out of place. And as with each of my favorite poems the meaning is left mostly to enigma. Lovely.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

5 Months Ago

After 30+ years of technical writing, I am pretty straightforward, but I learned to be more subtle f.. read more
interesting write. a lot can be interpreted. each line is mesmerizing with depth, the alliterations smooth-flowing and stark. every line a favorite.

Darkness dines on delusions

some squeak along sideways
fearing the feckless foragers
bolstering the virtuous sinners
sucking sustenance from light
only enough air for winners
others are smooshed by smite.




Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

5 Months Ago

Thank you for your kind review & sharp observations! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

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Added on June 11, 2020
Last Updated on June 11, 2020

Author

barleygirl
barleygirl

Central Coast, CA



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Just loving life & sharing my blessings. more..

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