Sunrise, Sunset

inspired by Pete's poem "Cognisance" . . .

Swarthy seagull pitches a flippant fit
glib taunts hurled by edgy wingtips
keow . . . mew . . . keow . . . hahaha
mated masts frame his harbor frolic
morning stopover, a pithy once-over
to decode this cryptic sunrise poet.

Pompous puffins and laconic otters
decorate the sunset end of this day
taking cavalier cormorants in stride
a tempestuous cliffhanging cynic
ponders two sun-dappled pelicans
rocktop bopping to a surfer’s beat.

Link to Pete's poem:

https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/ptine/2762459/

Author's Note

Click on thumbnail for a larger view of Boston Harbor, near where Pete does some of his seagull gazing with a sunrise motif. Conversely, a cliffhanging cynic (me) catches sunsets south of Monterey Bay, faraway on the opposite coast. Photo by Josh Stewart taken in Florida.

Reviews

[DIVYA]

A beautiful view of seagulls flying in the sunrise sky framing a golden sea. It's a spiritual experience gazing at them, decoding their cryptic sunrise poetry! Love how animated your words feel, capturing the energy and swirling activity out there. Clicked on the thumbnail and that's such a stunning view! That sunset looks ethereal too.

[barleygirl]

So much to love about your review! Thank you so much for appreciating all the things I also enjoy! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[R.J Calzonetti (Siniste..]

I like the use of words that are uncommon in poetry. This paints images of the end of summer for me. The end of a lazy day with plenty of life in it.

[barleygirl]

Lots of people, as you know from your own love of complex words, make comments about my use of uncommon words. But I figure, this is a writing website . . . a good place to challenge other writers with interesting unusual words! It isn't like I'm peddling my stuff to the masses, who will probably have much-diminished vocabularies, compared to the writers on this website! Thanks for stopping by (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Helen]

i just love your language and style of your poetry. Each word by itself is a a feast for the mind, which is built up into delightful phrases and lines, then verses and the whole poem and the effect is amazing whether I like the topic of your poem or not. I feel this way after every one of your poems I have read and it seems to me that it is a very unique style. I was just wondering if this is something that comes naturally to you, or if it is something you have consciously developed?

[barleygirl]

Your review is precious to me becuz who could imagine a better compliment? In my life & my mind, I'm a dullard, for sure. It amazes the hell out of me every time one of these poems comes out of me. To begin with, I was a tech writer for 30+ years, which cemented my diligence when it comes to throwing down the written word.

I am in chronic pain & my mantra around the house is "who gives a s**t?" (pushing past pain all the time often blinds me) . . . However, despite this tough life assignment, I work hard to not let the drudgery of my existence define me.

Since I live alone in the wilderness, my not-so-close neighbors are mainly hicks & ignorant but outspoken fools who don't like to be bothered by society either. Some of my "country shtick" is me playing off the kind of people I grew up around & alot of them read me on Facebook, the kind of people who would never read poetry, but I offer them poetry that sounds "country" like we really talk around these parts.

The other thing is my dad was a lover of words & he instilled that in me. We would pour over the dictionary together as he taught me about the etymology of words. I have an endless amount of patience to search the thesaurus listings & rhyme dictionary listings to find the perfect words. Often I'll be reading a poem I'm working on (I re-read at least 30 times) & if I feel a little "bump" in my gut, I'll stop on that word & try to find a better word. I do this almost to the point where I've selected different words for almost every word in the poem, changing words more than once for many of them. Thank you for asking & complimenting me to the stars by being interested (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[ArundassTP]

I really enjoyed the line keow Meo keow hahaha... An inspiration from that to create a poety or something out of livingbeings sound.
Good work

[barleygirl]

I stole those sound word from Pete & rearranged a little, but all the credit goes to my poet-friend. I love when writers make up "sound" words from nature & anything, really. In the rigid world of tech writing for 30+ years, it was a wonder to come to the cafe 6 years ago & be introduced to MADE-UP WORDS! I try to use them whenever I can (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[ArundassTP]

Good work. Once I was behind birds and animals with a voice recorder in my mobile. I tried to record their voices. I felt words are never replacements. I composed a music using musescore and mixed those voices with the track. I don't think many of them never loved it. I uploaded in SoundCloud. I felt I am mad that day. Now I want to put it as a poem. Thank you friend

[barleygirl]

Have you ever touched bases with Rob Trakofler (Bad Bunny) here at the cafe? He does the kinds of imaginative things you describe, putting together video clips of poetry readings with imaginative visuals & soundtracks! I could see you two bouncing this stuff off each other, now & then . . . Thanks for sharing what you're doing!

[Jamila]

Some glorious scenery in those pictures, Margie, and your words have added a new dimension all of their own in alliterated creativity. I find seagulls quite annoying, though. We humans have pampered them with food to the point they have become food thieves by nature, and many aloof diners have become unwitting victims of lunch theft! I enjoyed your creative addition to these stunning photos. :))

[barleygirl]

Haven't spent much time at beaches myself, which might be prime seagull pilfering becuz of the tourists. I'm more in tune with the wildish parts of the California coastline. That's part of what stood out to me, sharing with Pete, about how his coastline is heavily populated, whereas mine is not. Thanks for pointing out the seagull affliction! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[emmajoy]

An incredible movement start to finish in this poem.. have read it three times, pausing not only at end of each line.. seems to work well each time as if the haphazard movement of those birds. This really is a special write from you.. more of surroundings than emotions yet.. you've raised those too, Margie cos even over here I felt what you saw/see and intended. Love it and will go read Pete's poem now.. Two treats for the price of one.. a wonderful start to Saturday, 16.

[barleygirl]

Pete & I are both dialed into a "Thoreau" way of approaching life & yet so much about his way of seeing the world is different becuz of our opposite surroundings. But it's all good! I need to do more writing about my amazingly beautiful area! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[emmajoy]

Yes, please do write more about your surroundings so we can share with you, if only a little. I live in a rural area.. green, gently and true.. and, only a few miles from the sea, so.. have a foot in both worlds, lucky me. That said, those seagulls go where they want, much of the time.. but how they love chips from a wee box or ice.cream cones and both, of course, are found at the 'seaside'!
Your poetry conjurs different pics, see! :)

[barleygirl]

I still remember the photo you sent, looking out over the gorgeous land from your place . . .

[emmajoy]

To be honest, bought the house because of that view. It serves as a cure for 90% of my unwanted stuff. Looking onwards, outwards, gives a feeling of liberty ~ we all need that, don't we, Margie?

[Betty Hermelee]

Two poets, one on the east coast, one on the west ,gazing at different forms of bird life at different times of the day....your amazing descriptions of these birds... the harbor, the sunset the alliteration and some kooky words make this a delight to read. If I could only think of even half of your clever words, I would be extremely pleased. GREAT! XO, B

[barleygirl]

Believe me, this crusty old cranium does not "think up" any kind of words at all. I am heavily armed with online thesaurus & rhyme dictionary. Most days I just peruse all the word possibilities as I try to choose words I haven't used before, trying not to be that old person who writes the same s**t day after day (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Betty Hermelee]

Whatever it is, you have a certain ability to do this research!!! And have it make sense! Hugs
me

[Patricia]

This is so peaceful and I wish I could be there to see the bobbing birds. The photo is beautiful and your words give it life.

[barleygirl]

Lately, I feel remiss for not doing more descriptive poetry about my beautiful area. I think I ran off the road & into a rut, being funny as an avoidance technique (not dealing with the wretched world!) Fondly, Margie

[Patricia]

Hey ya gotta do what gets you through this and writing is a positive way to do it. Hang in there Margie

[An owl on the moon]

I loved the life you voiced here... the ocean... my soul misses it so much. And Monterey... though it has been several years since flying back to California for a visit, I made sure to come there to breathe in that peace. What a world you live in! Thank you for sharing it with us!

[barleygirl]

I love writing about my surroundings here . . . I'm so blessed! Thanks for swooping by for a bite of mackerel (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Pete]

i love it. you've packed so many fun observations into this deceptively compact piece. nature is jam-packed with amazing things if we'll stop and open our eyes. i like how you flipped it from the east coast to the west to show similarities yet take it in a different direction. couldn't help but think of that old song when i saw the title. you really know how to paint a scene with words and have an uncanny ability to make anything a playful romp. your word choices blast off with ecstasy. you also leave some wonderment and interpretation to the reader ... :)

[barleygirl]

Thank you for the inspiration, more times than I tell you! Your fascination with & knowledge of Thoreau color my thoughts more often than I realize. This is the ultimate complimentary review & so much of how your describe my writing is directly related to me being so unplugged from the modern world, here in the wilderness. I appreciate you so much for being as into that level of freedom as I am (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Dave Brown]

just wrote you and was deleted thrice
you will have to imagine what I had said
This site is a pain

[barleygirl]

Sorry its such a struggle. You can always use that as an excuse for not reviewing! But it is demoralizing. One time, years back, I was bumped from the cafe so often, as a habit, I would copy every review to my clipboard before trying to upload. It was a ridiculous amount of "trying-to-remember"! (which we all know is ebbing these days! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[Dave Brown]

Can't believe you got through