To The Daughter I Will Never Have...

To The Daughter I Will Never Have...

A Poem by alienated.aquarius
"

bc of my mental health it would be irresponsible to have a child

"

To the daughter I will never have…

Love isn’t supposed to hurt, honey

It’s not that I won’t love you,

I just can’t do it properly

I love you so much

That’s why I can’t have you.

 

Love isn’t supposed to be trauma tears

And spilled milk,

Maybe mothers give their love to their children

When they couldn’t share it with themselves

I will never yell at you

But I will never hold you either

I can’t put you through what

I’ve been through or worse

I’m not equipped to take on anything

More than myself.

 

It makes me sound selfish

But I won’t lie to ya, kid

This world is ugly

It has so much beauty

But it will haunt you

And I don’t want to pass these ghosts

Onto you like family heirlooms

Our planet is dying and

Politicians keep lying

I love you so much I want to spare you

From all the pain of life.

 

I’m not sure if adoption is the answer,

Or if settling for dogs will do

But it will never change how I will always love you

Not because you are a part of me

Maybe it’s an unusual way to find things

To love about yourself.

 

This world is magic but everything comes with a cost

I’m not sure what ancestral karma

will be bestowed upon you

but I don’t want you to suffer more than you have to

I’d rather keep you close to me

It reminds me that I’m full of life

Even when I wish I were dead.

Poetry chapbook 'Sonder' now available on Amazon!

© 2019 alienated.aquarius


Author's Note

alienated.aquarius
ive been really upset lately and this is one of many reasons why

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Featured Review

Very touching. Not every woman was meant to be a mother. I know a woman who loves children but is terrified of infants. She will move across the room to get away. Calls them aliens. But as soon as they hit the age of three or four, she's drawn to them and they to her. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen. And sad too, because I know she will never have any of her own. I have two daughters and one son and I would die for them. I worried about bringing them into this world and how hard it was going to be to shelter them from harm and to teach them right from wrong when this world is so full of wrong. They are grown now and I can sit back and watch them, listen to them and love their children and know that I did the right thing by bringing them into the world. They made my world better, happier. Yes, it was work. Work that paid me far more than any job I could have held down. My payment was partially knowing that my decision to have them was what helped to make this world a little better and if more women would do the same, eventually, this world would be the best place to have a daughter. I enjoy your work and I hope it brings you what you need to love yourself, to heal yourself and keep writing.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Very touching. Not every woman was meant to be a mother. I know a woman who loves children but is terrified of infants. She will move across the room to get away. Calls them aliens. But as soon as they hit the age of three or four, she's drawn to them and they to her. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen. And sad too, because I know she will never have any of her own. I have two daughters and one son and I would die for them. I worried about bringing them into this world and how hard it was going to be to shelter them from harm and to teach them right from wrong when this world is so full of wrong. They are grown now and I can sit back and watch them, listen to them and love their children and know that I did the right thing by bringing them into the world. They made my world better, happier. Yes, it was work. Work that paid me far more than any job I could have held down. My payment was partially knowing that my decision to have them was what helped to make this world a little better and if more women would do the same, eventually, this world would be the best place to have a daughter. I enjoy your work and I hope it brings you what you need to love yourself, to heal yourself and keep writing.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Touching words. Keep it up!

Posted 1 Month Ago


the worst pain on this planet is living without you.

Posted 2 Months Ago


This is words of a woman in torment, i liked this. Keep writing, hope you are a bit happier now by the way. Lifes not easy, never was, never will be eh? We just keep plodding along. Going for the ride.
take care x

Posted 2 Months Ago


I really love this poem! So much sensible and certainly this is for the first time I feel so sensitive for this poem here. Great Write!
Keep it up!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Sentiments to the unborn that maybe society isn't deserving of their presence due to their potential mothers intuition. That was my take on this poem. Why become an outlet to the river of life if you know those societal waters will be forever tainted. Nice work. An emotional gripping write. :)

Posted 2 Months Ago


maybe having a child would solve all of your problems. it seems you don't want one because you're too empathic. but nearly all women throughout history had a dozen children while fully knowing that half or more would die horribly of starvation or disease. it's okay and ethical to bring a child into this world knowing that they will suffer. and if they blame you for being alive then just slap them in the mouth. that's okay too, because too many people are ungrateful for being alive. life is a blessing, and if you have a child then that's a blessing too. don't be afraid to bless the world with a child. the rest of us will take care of her or him if you can't. don't ever think that you shouldn't have a child of your own.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Did you ever think that maybe not having a child is a blessing. Especially in this difficult world we live in today. Touching write, sorry just the way I feel in todays world ;-

Posted 2 Months Ago


love this. so touching

Posted 2 Months Ago


This poem is touching and real.. The world has gone to hell and only some can see it... The loss in the poem is raw and heartbreaking.

Posted 2 Months Ago



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Added on July 29, 2019
Last Updated on July 29, 2019
Tags: poem, poetry, poet, depression, mental health, child, motherhood, mother, anxiety

Author

alienated.aquarius
alienated.aquarius

Buffalo, NY



About
Hi! I'm Catie. i write things (poems, fiction, blogs/articles) and try to publish them. i love chasing waterfalls and sunsets. i was born at a very young age. i can pick things up with my toes. i'm ob.. more..

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