Fearing the Other Side.

Fearing the Other Side.

A Poem by Richard McLin
"

A person in hiding.

"
I looked up, and my position remained safe. No one else choose to hide in this room, and that both scared me, and gave me relief.

FEAR,
DREAD,
PANIC,
And maybe just a little of adrenaline fueled excitement.

Footsteps outside my door are accompanied by the popping sounds of what sounds like indoor fireworks.

HIDDEN,
SAFE,
QUIET,
And maybe safety is just my wishful thinking.


Rooms door is opening, and my hiding spot is no longer secure, and the cries of my fellow students can be heard emitting from the hall as the door slowly closes.

FOUND,
SCREAMING,
RAGE,
And maybe it's all over as he raises his rifle.

The END

Richard McLin 2018

© 2018 Richard McLin


Author's Note

Richard McLin
I try to write stories to help people with the horrors of the world. I wrote a story about online predators of children in "Little Fish" and now I'm tackling school shootings. I hope this sparks some much needed conversations.

My Review

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Featured Review

I can only imagine what those kids went through. The description here cements that in my mind. It is time for change, this gun thing is insanity. There has to be some control as there seems to be a free for all gun problem in the states. Hard to read, but as you said, possibly need to fuel conversations.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard McLin

1 Year Ago

I agree, and I thank you for the review.
Karen Redburn

1 Year Ago

most welcome



Reviews

I was about to say... Maybe drop "the end"... As it kinda gave a corny feeling to a devastatingly powerful write... Especially underscoring the severity of subject... HOWEVER... I saw what you did with the capital letters on the second read-through... Damn... Maybe a little adrenaline-fueled excitement... A little?

Posted 5 Months Ago


Hard, scary and realistic poetry. When we reach a dead end. Death is sweeter than life. We are in trouble. Thank you Richard for sharing the amazing poetry.

Coyote

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard McLin

1 Year Ago

Thank you for the review. I'm trying to get this piece out. If you could request your friends to rea.. read more
Coyote Poetry

1 Year Ago

Was my pleasure and I lost two brothers to suicide. You are welcome my friend.
I'm sure it will spark a conversation or ten.

I don't actually hold this opinion, I'm just trying to think critically and play devil's advocate. Some could say that this is really just a simple description of a severely real tragedy as if you were one of the survivor's; pandering is a word that some might use as there is no actual message beyond just describing a current event type tragedy involving kids for artistic purposes. Again, I don't personally hold that view because I think just bringing attention to the subject and starting a conversation is of great value due to the rise of these kinds of events in America over the past 20 years.

It's good writing, if your intent is to spark conversation it should work. And I actually like that you only described the event instead of injecting your own politics. There's way too much of that bullshit going on already .... ugh... I hate cable news so f*****g much.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard McLin

1 Year Ago

Thank you for your review. I specially tried to write it in a way that I didn't take a side, just de.. read more
I usually ask Richard what form name this or that poem has, when I don't know, which is usually. I would guess this form could be called a novelty, it is new to me anyway. I think it is a little ironic that a "novel" poem addresses a situation that is no longer, new, novel, or unexpected.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard McLin

1 Year Ago

Thank you very much for your review.
Real-time, immediate, frightening poem in the brilliant, impactful form of words describing a child’s thoughts while hiding in a classroom and waiting for the shooter’s gun to “END” things...another child is “FOUND”and gone. Great use of capitalization to drive the terror and feelings home. Dramatic, emotional, heart-wrenching, IMPORTANT write.. As the children march and speak out, so must we. Great poem!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard McLin

1 Year Ago

Thank you. I wrote this cause of how it all made me feel. I'm glad people are responding the way the.. read more
the creative structure reinforces the sentiments and horror outlined within. methinks we must be careful to treat the disease and not just the symptoms. a deep, haunting, far-reaching tale that does not bear repeating.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chilling! I love this! Not knowing whether he lives or dies in the end really leaves you breathless! Excellent!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard McLin

1 Year Ago

Thank you for your review. You are one of the only people to appreciate that. Thank you for that.
I have never seen a country so divided over an issue as I have over this one. I dint get it. Why are so many afraid to raise the age to 21? We had no problem when it was alcohol.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard McLin

1 Year Ago

All good points. Thank you for the review.
The hauntingly powerful descriptions here really make this work stand out. The subject matter and the style in which it's expressed synchronize together. It was a terrible incident there and there should have been strong measures taken.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard McLin

1 Year Ago

Thank you for the review. I agree there should have been.
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BBP
Very interesting write and really makes you feel for the terror these poor kids feel when these tragedies happen. A feeling no kid...or anyone should have to experience.

I can understand why people jump to gun laws and this will get someone's panties in a bunch...but there is so much more that goes in to tragedies like this that people ignore. Gun laws are just an easy scapegoat rather looking how our society exposes children to way too much.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard McLin

1 Year Ago

Sadly that is true.
BBP

1 Year Ago

Yeah..Metallica's 'Sad but True' should be America's new theme song lol
Richard McLin

1 Year Ago

lol, nice.

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804 Views
15 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on March 9, 2018
Last Updated on March 10, 2018
Tags: poem, dark, poetry, rage, fear, death, hall, room, quiet, panic, dread, school, safe, shooting, guns, students, school shooting, teen

Author

Richard McLin
Richard McLin

Salem, OR



About
I have been writing ever since I can remember. I can't live and not write, it's as essential as breath. more..

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