Hardened.

Hardened.

A Poem by Thomas Fitzgerald
"

A glimpse of mental health.

"
A first glimpse makes no sense to ones mind,
Shaken and relived in it's singularity,
A thought that creeps in to a firm mind,
I hold onto it though for it's ambiguity.

Propensity dictates I declare time for it,
Am I not of sound mind and soul,
Friends and neighbors hold me on high,
Ignorance holds fast at edge of this hole.

Events take time to strike the hardened mind,
Losing two pillars and the manor you attracted,
Bounded by memories that refuse to clear,
Actions are taken unexplained and redacted.

Mental faculties falter and decisions have revenge,
I am left there sitting on a strange bench,
Uniforms and helpful nods fill this odd world,
I am lost and unable to source water or quench.

© 2020 Thomas Fitzgerald


Author's Note

Thomas Fitzgerald
awareness is everything

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a tragic picture as one's mind and emotions fall to mental illness.... there are all kinds of them ... many walking around us daily .. unaware .. :( when an event finally occurs that put the person in a hospital it can take a long time to figure out just what has happened ... make a plan back to health .. return to life as best as possible ... sometimes never making it out .. i think of two favorite movies of mine and many others I am sure "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and "A Beautiful Mind" ...i think your Author's Note says it all ...family especially fails to see ... though they "know" something is not quite right .. that denial costs precious time ... the sooner along in any illness, diagnosis and treatment begin the better ... lots of hooks in this one ...the title and repetition of "hardened" in V3 make it important .. i must assume it is the hardened mind of refusal to accept truth in the matter .. and the "..two pillars and manor...." lost super grab me attention ... pillars of truth perhaps and the manor by extension built ...but I don't see the "you attracted" part ... do you mean to say "manner"? ... strong closing verse says i ... "...decisions have revenge" .. oh they sure do ... even in the sane world eh!? ;) there is a certain calm on the bench .. i'm glad for it after the turmoil of the struggle ... but your protagonist has just begun .. i am empathetic for the thirst he has ... Mental Illness has a terrible stigma ... still in much need of understanding ... education ... included in our Jr. High Schools perhaps .. where schizophrenia many times begins ... I'm not sure I would have known this was about mental health had you not mentioned it along with the title ... its abstract and can be applied to a lot of situations :) thanks for sharing .. and bringing mental illness into the spotlight .. right here and the Cafe' ..very appropriate too .. as covid has forced a certain isolation many are not use to .. for myself .. my life is purposefully a bit reclusive ... my neighborhood has about 30 cabins in a 50 or 100 sq. miles ... town is miles away and a very small one ;) love and peace brother ... keep your noodle on track! :)))))))))))
E.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Thomas Fitzgerald

10 Months Ago

Manner is indeed what I meant to say in this piece, thank you for your review, I'll back again soon .. read more



Reviews



Propensity dictates I declare time for it,
Am I not of sound mind and soul,
Friends and neighbors hold me on high,
Ignorance holds fast at edge of this hole


Excellent write, Thomas. The phrasing is superb:)

Posted 4 Months Ago


There are some memories and events, good and bad, that keep replaying over and over again. This poem shows how memories and/or events can affect our minds.

Posted 4 Months Ago


My friend Thomas. I understand your thoughts and words.
"Mental faculties falter and decisions have revenge,
I am left there sitting on a strange bench,
Uniforms and helpful nods fill this odd world,
I am lost and unable to source water or quench."
I am old now and I had to re-learn new dreams and hope. Maybe we want less with old age. Thank you for sharing your amazing words and thoughts.
Coyote

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

a tragic picture as one's mind and emotions fall to mental illness.... there are all kinds of them ... many walking around us daily .. unaware .. :( when an event finally occurs that put the person in a hospital it can take a long time to figure out just what has happened ... make a plan back to health .. return to life as best as possible ... sometimes never making it out .. i think of two favorite movies of mine and many others I am sure "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and "A Beautiful Mind" ...i think your Author's Note says it all ...family especially fails to see ... though they "know" something is not quite right .. that denial costs precious time ... the sooner along in any illness, diagnosis and treatment begin the better ... lots of hooks in this one ...the title and repetition of "hardened" in V3 make it important .. i must assume it is the hardened mind of refusal to accept truth in the matter .. and the "..two pillars and manor...." lost super grab me attention ... pillars of truth perhaps and the manor by extension built ...but I don't see the "you attracted" part ... do you mean to say "manner"? ... strong closing verse says i ... "...decisions have revenge" .. oh they sure do ... even in the sane world eh!? ;) there is a certain calm on the bench .. i'm glad for it after the turmoil of the struggle ... but your protagonist has just begun .. i am empathetic for the thirst he has ... Mental Illness has a terrible stigma ... still in much need of understanding ... education ... included in our Jr. High Schools perhaps .. where schizophrenia many times begins ... I'm not sure I would have known this was about mental health had you not mentioned it along with the title ... its abstract and can be applied to a lot of situations :) thanks for sharing .. and bringing mental illness into the spotlight .. right here and the Cafe' ..very appropriate too .. as covid has forced a certain isolation many are not use to .. for myself .. my life is purposefully a bit reclusive ... my neighborhood has about 30 cabins in a 50 or 100 sq. miles ... town is miles away and a very small one ;) love and peace brother ... keep your noodle on track! :)))))))))))
E.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Thomas Fitzgerald

10 Months Ago

Manner is indeed what I meant to say in this piece, thank you for your review, I'll back again soon .. read more
Yes, knowing that you are mentally ill, is the key to starting on the road to recovery. Sadly that takes time. I have had a close relative in this situation. It is heartbreaking for family and friends and totally bewildering to the one suffering. Sitting on a strange bench is an excellent way of describing the journey. Care nowadays is so much better informed than in the past.

Chris

Posted 11 Months Ago


Awareness is vital. The key to recovery and emergence from the black hole. A tenacious grip on reality can really help in dealing with mental turmoil and return to sanity.

Posted 11 Months Ago


the beat repeat of emotional defeat playing like a skipping record player filling your hours with phantom deceits making your motions depleted or obsoleted is a horror replete

Posted 11 Months Ago



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Added on August 18, 2020
Last Updated on August 18, 2020
Tags: health, mental health, ireland, mind, sickness

Author

Thomas Fitzgerald
Thomas Fitzgerald

Wexford, Leinster, Ireland



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To all who know by now - I love you. For those that don't, I review a lot of work on here, and I expect the same in return, friend me but make sure to have conviction! I'm a horror writer mostly bu.. more..

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